Hi everyone,
I'm new to the forum and lately I've been extremely anxious. I'll go through why I feel so bad in a little while, but I will give you a little back story. Essentially I've always had some form of anxiety - I had major social anxiety when I was younger and after I moved out of home I was forced to talk to people and my social anxiety has near but gone.
But it really didn't "start" for me until around 6 months after I gave birth to my first daughter. I was sitting there one day and I had a panic attack out of nowhere. I thought I was dying and I raced to the doctors thinking I had a brain tumor. I developed what I researched was depersonalisation and the next 6 months that followed was pure hell - everyday I was living in fear (mainly health anxiety). But I learnt to not fight anxiety and just go with it and slowly I began to heal and I eventually felt like myself again.
I then decided to have another baby, and my anxiety was low but it was always in the background. Everything was going well until my second daughter was around 8 months and anxiety crept back up again. This developed into a full blown health anxiety. Every little abnormality (particularly around my vision) would send me into major panic attacks. I've been trying to deal with it, sometimes it is manageable and sometimes I want to crawl into a hole and never come out - but I keep moving because I have 2 little girls to look after.
Right now, my anxiety is at level 10 due to me getting scintillating scotoma 3 times in the past 2 weeks. I'm wake up in complete fear and I am constantly walking around in a dream like state. I am constantly focused on my vision, just waiting to have another attack. My quality of life had diminished and I no longer enjoy the things I used to. But am still working with my anxiety and not against it, and I am hoping that I can get it under control again.
I just need some people to talk to, maybe some people having similar experiences as me.
Simone
