New job anxiety

[Paris44]

Hi, this is my first post here. I started a new job on Monday. Did a few shifts but my anxiety got the best of me yesterday. Ended up spending the night in hospital. Dr has given me a week off but I can’t go back. I’m so embarrassed and the thought of even walking into the shopping centre where the shop is is terrifying me. I lost me dad suddenly last October and am still struggling with that. At the time, I had a good job as a manager in a store which I was at for 6 years but in February they cut hours back so I took a redundancy. I got a job straight away but in an completely different field. They were so good to me and they knew I was struggling with the loss of my dad. But I got anxiety everyday going to work and thought I wasn’t doing a good job. When I got offered the job in the shop they were understanding and really good about it. I felt so guilty that I was leaving but it’s what I thought I wanted and needed to do. But now I think I’ve made a mistake. I think I was trying to make my life how it was when my dad was here if that makes sense. I really feel like I’ve stuffed everything up and put everyone out. I really don’t mean to but that’s what keeps happening

[Megzt84]

Hi Paris44,

This situation must be a really hard one for you. At the end of the day you need to put yourself first and I’m sure the people you have worked with will understand. It sounds like you have been honest with them so please don’t be too hard on yourself.

Maybe you need to wait longer before you start working again? I know that financially that might not be an option. Have you spoken to your doctor or a psychiatrist as they might be able to give you tips on dealing with your anxiety?

The fact that you’re trying to put yourself out there is really great and make sure to take these steps as a win.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi there

Condolences on the loss of your Dad. I’m sure it’s still raw and painful and you’re doing your best to navigate life without him. It’s a huge adjustment.

Are you wanting to go back to your role at the shop but feeling it will be too uncomfortable? If so, I wonder if there’s anything you could put in place to make it feel less so? Maybe giving them a ring to have a chat?

Katy

[Paris44]

Hi thanks for your reply. I feel like I can’t go back, I’m so embarrassed and don’t think I can cope. The role will require me to work some shifts on my own, which I don’t think I can do.

[Paris44]

Maybe I do need a little time off, but we really need the money coming in. Drs want me to cut back on my anti depressant as they have said it might be making my anxiety worse but I’ve been on it for 10 years. It took years to find something that helped my depression with a lot of medication changes so I’m scared of having to go through that again

[The_Bro]

Gidday Paris 44

Congratulations on finding the strength to put your thoughts in writing - that is a very good step as you recognise what is going on.

Plainly, you are a very competent person and employee as your previous employer valued you for so many years. The sudden loss of your Dad may have upset your compass so that you are not quite ready to deal with members of the public, especially in a brand new field. I wonder if you should look at something a little closer to what you used to do, to help your confidence?

One thing is for sure - the strong person you are inside will emerge in the future as your personal loss impact slowly subsides. It took me ages to get over my Mum dying suddenly then my dog, but now I can think about them often - with sadness of course but also acceptance.

I also wonder if either of the retailers you have worked for might have an admin position you can do, until you are ready to get behind the counter again?

Please let us know how you get on, things will get better as time passes.

Listen to loud music and dance like no one is looking!

Bye for now, The Bro