New job anxiety

[Stressedone]

Not sure how to exactly start this but, I used to be very successful and highly motivated with my career, I’m a heavy machinery operator. I kept climbing the ranks then became a site supervisor, 4 years ago I became addicted to drugs I then lost my job, it wasn’t a pleasant experience, my life was spiraling out of control I had job after job, the longest one only lasting a few months then I gave up. Still being a heavy drug I lost everything, house,cars,girlfriend,friends,family

i eventually found myself in jail.

When I got out I decided to get clean, I’ve been clean now for two years. And I’ve held a job for the same amount of time. The problem is it’s a crappy job that I found easy and it’s not what I was used to before I became addicted to drugs. Now the problem I have is I’ve been offered multiple jobs that are more challenging and with way better pay (sorta what I used to do before) on heavy machinery in the mines and I’ve either accepted the job offer and only lasted a day or two before I ring my boss and tell him I can’t do it anymore and I find myself going back to that easy job that I find safe.. I didn’t know it at the time but when I was a addict and I was going from job to job getting sacked one after the other I think it really affected me. Not at the time but now I can’t seem to leave the current job I’m at because I’m scared I won’t be good enough and I’ll get sacked. Drugs have really stuffed me up mentally and I basically don’t know what to do.. I know I have a anxiety and depression problem but I have no idea how to fix it. I saw a psychologist for a little while which didn’t help because I felt he had no idea what I was actually going through. I don’t want to stay in this (safe job) anymore I want to be the person I used to be and take that risk because I used to strive in any new job I’d go to before I became an addict I had no anxiety and saw every new job as a experience.. now when I get a new job I either quit before my first day or I find the courage to go but last only a few hours or I get through the day but I’m constantly saying to myself “your not good enough” “they aren’t going to want you back tomorrow” and more negative stuff.. I can’t even begin to explain how much of a toll this is taking on me

to make it worse I’ve just been offered another awesome job in the mines, lots and lots of money, good camp,good roster bet yet again I’m thinking of turning it down and sticking to that “safe job” I’m misrible at. please help

[JessF]

Hello Stressedone, I wanted to start by saying that I think you should give yourself some credit for turning your life around. To come from a place where you lost almost everything dear to you, including your freedom, you're back in a place where you are drug free and have steady employment. This is not an easy thing to do. And now, even better than that, you are receiving multiple job offers that suit your skills. This is where you have your current problem, your mind is telling you you're not good enough.

But how does what that little voice is saying stack up against the evidence of the real world... you keep getting these offers. It sounds to me like you are good enough, as judged by multiple different employers. Perhaps the next time you hear that voice saying those things to you, try and challenge it back. "You're not good enough" becomes "Says who? They don't hand out difficult jobs like this to people who aren't good enough". "They aren't going to want you back tomorrow" becomes "Are you a mind reader? If there's a problem with my work, they will tell me. And I can always ask how things are going too."

I'm not saying it's going to be easy fighting against the negative voice, Stressedone, but I think you can do it. You've overcome far worse to get back to where you are. Trust yourself and take that job. When you feel the fear rising, tell yourself that it's a ghost from the past, and the new you is stronger, back to seeing every job as a new experience.

[baet123]

Hi Stressedone,

Welcome to the forums mate and thank you so much for posting and sharing your journey with us. You have overcome so much. Congratulations on your sobriety. You seem extremely resilient and brave and your story is extremely inspiring. You should be extremely proud of yourself because you could have given up and blamed others however you took control and turned your life around and that is so amazing.

We have all done things in the past which we regret but we live and we learn. Feeling "comfortable" is a natural emotion and one which myself included enjoy the feeling of but often may limits someones potential. You have to believe that you are good enough for the position. You seem extremely intelligent and good at what you do and would be an asset to any company you work for. You will never know if you are able to fly/soar if you don't jump right? Easier said than done but sometimes in life we have to take risks and get out of our comfort zone in order to prosper.

You may also want to consider seeing a psychologist again if you feel comfortable doing so that is. Go to your GP and get a mental health plan which allows you to have access to 10 free consultations. The key here is find a health professional who u feel an instant connection with and one that you actually feel that they care for you and want you to improve. The client-practitioner relationship is so underrated and goes such a long way towards improving the client's well-being. Don't be afraid to "shop around"until you find one that suites your needs and your desires.

My opinion is that you are good enough and that feeling of "being comfortable"is great and all but you will prosper in your new role if you take it but you need to take a chance and just go with it.

Hope this helped and keep us posted.

Good luck mate!

Nick.

[Stressedone]

ThAnkyou so much for your kind words, And thAnkyou so much for the advice ☺️

[Stressedone]

Thanks for your kind words nick. And I think you hit the nail on the head about staying in your comfort zone etc because I almost instantly have regret after I do quit that job I wanted. Like you said it’s eAsier said then done when it comes to to putting it all in to practice unfortunately. I guess all I can do is keep trying and take all the helpful advice people are willing to give. Thankyou

[White_Rose]

Dear Stressedone

Hello and welcome to the forum. Many congratulations on kicking the drug habit. What a triumph. Writing here can be a huge challenge for some, so congratulations for taking this step. Two things you have accomplished that require courage and determination. As JessF (hello Jess, good to see you again) and Nick have said, you are obviously capable of taking on these jobs you have been offered otherwise you would not be asked.

Anxiety is a sneaky beast which creeps up and whispers in your ear that this job is not for you. Of all the jobs you have tried lately, how do you really think you performed? The key words being 'really performed'. You left because of your anxiety rather than lack of skills, otherwise you would have been sacked. It's worth considering this and giving yourself credit for being good at your work. Once you can accept being a good worker I think life will get easier.

It's also worth considering that your current job helped you stop taking drugs and perhaps you feel if you leave your support will also go. I know it's not logical but we humans are not a logical race. We allow ourselves to believe thoughts that if we were to see them in someone else we would know were false. Unfortunately we cannot take our thoughts out and look at them in quite the same way. We can believe negative words and in the same breath refute words of congratulation and truth from someone else who sees the evidence of your abilities.

It may help you to talk to a psychologist and the first step is a chat with your doctor. If you decide to try again ask the doctor for someone skilled in helping those who have got clean from drug addiction and with drug addiction in general. This will be the person who can help you most.

If you find it is helpful to write in here please continue to do so. We are always here.

Mary