New job anxiety pls help

[LachieC]

Hello Everyone hoping your well,

i recently got a new job I start on Monday and my anxiety and depression are causing havoc, I was originally so excited but someway or another this anxiety is ruining it.

plus I also found out I will be working every Saturday and Sunday as part of this postion, does anyone else always work weekends, I’m worried I wont get to see my family

thank you for your time any help would be highly appreciated

[Giraffe]

I hear you. It’s normal to feel anxious about a new job. Just go. I’m sure you will be fine. Let us know how you went. Maybe you could negotiate the weekend thing.

[socialmoth]

Hi LachieC, welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry to hear about how your anxiety has started to overtake your excitement to start your new job. Can you possibly pinpoint a thought that came to your mind which maybe triggered the anxiety? For example I know for me I get anxious about social situations as soon as I think about how I might say something wrong or people will judge me.

I used to work weekends a lot and I honestly found it really easy to see my family around work hours as well. I think it's all about the planning 🙂

[LachieC]

Hi thanks for your reply

to be honest I can’t pin point it really I think the whole thing is just putting my anxiety on edge. I’m really really nervous now

[Aaronsis]

Hi LachieC

Welcome to the forum and I firstly wanted to congratulate you on your new job, well done!

Can I suggest that mostly everyone feels a sense of the unknown when starting a brand new role, with so many whirling questions going around and around in your head.."am I good enough?", "will people like me?", "what if I hate it?"...and so on. Do you think this is true for you?

I can also say to that that after a few weeks, when we have settled in, shown to ourselves that we are more than capable, that we were hired for a reason and that is because we are capable, and made a few new friends or even feel comfortable with a few people, we wondered what all the concern was for. It is daunting starting anything unknown for the first time.

I am glad you have reached out for some conversation on this and so I can let you know that you are going to be fine, you will be good in your role and to be kind to yourself, what would you say to your friend if he/she was starting a new role and felt some concerns? Say these things to you....you are good enough.

Days are just that..days and with regards to the weekend days perhaps you can make other days in the week family time days. That you could speak to your family around doing things mid week or even special dinners or a movie night so that you get the family time that you are concerned about missing. It is hard to get your head around as mostly social and family time events happen on the weekend. Hopefully too your new employer will allow you some weekends off from time to time and especially if you give them enough notice if you have something special you would like to attend.

I hope to chat to you some more and it is great to welcome you here.

Hugs

Sarah

[LachieC]

Hi Sarah hoping your well,

Thankyou so much for responding to be honest it’s everything you said plus what if stuff up or do somthing wrong,

I just wish my anxiety would give me a break I’m trying to enjoy my last few days before I start,

plus I hate the feeling of being the new fish in the new pond. I’ve never really wanted to work weekends but due to covid and hating my old job I took this one now I have to work every weekend, I’m worried I’ll miss out of family events and birthdays and stuff I work during the day

thanks so much Sarah I hope it makes some sort of cense your a guardian angel Sarah thankyou

[Aaronsis]

Hello LachieC

You are very welcome for my reply to you, that is what this community is all about, caring and supporting one another. I am doing well thank you and am really enjoying the weather, I am in Melbourne so we can get all sorts in one day..today is lovely!

I hear you loud and clear in that you wish so very much for your anxiety to give you a break. Perhaps there is some self talk that you can do to give yourself the few days break leading up to Monday..how?

Well the thing is that you are new..let yourself be ok with:

Not knowing anyone (because in a day or two you will) you will be the new fish, until perhaps the next Monday when another newbie starts and then they are the new fish.

Making mistakes (you probably will, and that is totally fine, you are new and have to learn) no one is perfect and even the most efficient person makes mistakes.

The weekends as we said before may move to a different day for you and you can work with your loved ones and friends to do things on other days so that you can be included, sure this will take some time to get used to but it is possible, so tell your thoughts you have that part covered! Also as we said you may have to get really good at managing dates and diaries and knowing when you need to ask for a weekend off or even swap a day so that you can go to these events that are special to you.

Self talk and letting yourself be worried, or fearful, or tired and acknowledge that you have a plan in place, you will be good at your role but Monday is your first day and it will all be about the environment and the people and someone showing you the role and the facilities and less about if you have mastered the role, they will not expect this on the first week let alone the first day. Be nice to yourself and remember that you were hired, they chose you, they have faith in you and want you on their team...these are the things to remember..these are the truths and not the story you are thinking that is full of unknowns.

I hope to chat to you some more and I really want to chat to you after your day on Monday to hear how it all went for you..I think I already know but it would be great to hear from you!

Huge hugs

Sarah xx

[LachieC]

Good afternoon all hoping your well

Well after the first two days I seem to be enjoying it, been getting up very early but home at 2 in the afternoon, I’m just not sure if I’m making the right career decession or if I should try to find something else with our weekends

thanks guys

[LachieC]

Hey Sarah hoping your well 😃

ive enjoyed my 2 days at my new job and I like it so far it’s just hard to get comfortable.

I’m just feeling a bit strange because part of me loves this job but then part of me thinks I should get a 9 or 8 to 5 office job and I’d have no weekend work, the people are very friendly I just feel like the odd one out because I am a bit slow learning but I’d perfer to take my time then rush things

Sarah all your help really really helped your amazing sending a big hug your way 🥰

[Aaronsis]

Hey LachieC

I am so happy to hear from you and so very happy that the first few days have gone well, can I say better that you expected? It is mostly the way, as we said, we run scenarios through our heads as to all the things that will and can go wrong ..BUT.they mostly don't.

I absolutely agree with you, take your time to master the task and speed will come after. I would think that your employer would agree too in that getting it right is better than getting it done quickly and not up to standard. Be kind to yourself as there is no rush, chip away and it will come.

Making friends does take time too and this is only day 4 so please give yourself time to meet people and to get to know people, there are not many moments in the day for socializing so getting to know people will take a little longer, and that is fine. Just be you and that is all you can do.

Thank you so very much for the hugs and sending hugs right back to you, I am so happy you have felt supported here and that you have been able to get some of the weight off your chest and to know what you are going through is mostly a very common thing.

With regards to the time you have with your family, I would see how you feel in a month or two after you have had some time in the role and see how you feel, you don't have to make a decision today or tomorrow on that one. Just ensure you are making time with your loved ones and that you are still getting that family time you need and love.

Looking forward to hearing how the first week went and how you are feeling.

Great to chat to you LachieC

Hugs

Sarah x