Not good enough

[csci2555]

I’ve recently started a new job and it’s completely overwhelming me. I’ve developed a habit over recent years where my negative self talk is destroying my confidence to do anything and my fear of failure is paralysing.

These feelings have overridden any excitement I had for the new role and I’m missing the comfort of my previous long term workplace. I’d been there a long time but was also pretty miserable, I’m not sure if it’s because I don’t like the career path I’ve chosen or if I’be just become lazy and unmotivated.

I use going out on the weekends to forget all about these thoughts, but this just comes back to haunt me on Monday and Tuesday when I feel like trash and the cycle continues.

Struggling at the moment

[geoff]

Hello Csci2555, a warm welcome to the site and sorry for how you are feeling.

Whether or not it's a career you really want, I can't answer that, but can you type 'intrusive thoughts' in the search bar above or in your main browser, these normally happen if you're suffering from anxiety, and I can only say this because it's happened with me, although I'm not qualified to say.

These thoughts become stuck in our mind and can cause distress as they keep upsetting us and keep reoccurring.

Going out on weekends is a way we try and block these thoughts but they keep on returning.

Please ask any questions you would like to know.

Geoff.

[csci2555]

Thanks for your message Geoff. Reading a few of the posts regarding intrusive thoughts pretty much sums up where I’m at.

I don’t really know how to deal with the constant negativity, it’s the first thing I think of when I open my eyes and the last before I go to bed. I tried meditation for some time but my stress levels got so high that when I meditated I actually started to have seizure like episodes which put me in hospital. The neurologist had no underlying diagnosis and put it down to stress which in turn was even more stressful considering I was trying to do something to help it.

I’m sorry I don’t really know what I should be writing on this thing, was a bit of a spur of the moment idea

[Here2Talk]

Hi csci2555,

Sorry to hear your plight. I am in a long term job that sucks too, so I get why you wanted to change it.

I wonder if I could ask you some questions, like how old you are, and what your job involves now? Also what do you do on the weekends when you go out, and do you have friends you go out with and can talk to?

I feel for you

[Ggrand]

Hello dear csci2555,

Im sorry your negative thoughts are so overwhelming for you...There was a time that I would fall asleep stressing out about tomorrow..then wake up and immediately I am in a negative mindset...

I discovered sleep stories and now drift of to sleep while I’m listening to the narrator telling a story of rolling mountains, picnics in a meadow ..adventures to ancient ruins...when I listen to these it takes my mind away from anxious depressive thoughts and I wake in a more positive mindset....

I think if we fall asleep in a relaxing and calm state. we sleep more soundly and awaken more refreshed and positive.....If we fall asleep to anxious depressive thoughts then our sleep isn’t refreshing or deep and we wake up full of depression and anxiety...,

Maybe the mindset we fall asleep to, is the mindset we wake up to....Do you think I am thinking right?..

My kindest and most caring thoughts Dear csci2555..

Grandy..

[csci2555]

Hi Here2Talk,

I’m in my late 20s and I’m doing a similar type of job as the one I just left, it’s just for a different company. I thought maybe a change of scenery might give me some motivation. But only a couple of weeks in I’m just struggling with imposter syndrome feelings and a general sense of not being good enough for it I suppose. I know deep down it’s such early days and I’ll adjust but it’s just been feeling suffocating this week and hence I’ve not been well.

Unfortunately when I say I go out it means drinking way too much at a bar or nightclub with friends, which can seem fun at the time but it really messes with me later on. I’m certainly not in the realms of being an alcoholic but when I drink it’s certainly of the binge type variety.

[csci2555]

Hi Grandy,

I agree wholeheartedly with your comments and I’m happy that you’ve been able to navigate away from those thoughts.

I’ve not tried a sleep story so I might give that a go tonight.

Thanks very much

[geoff]

Hello Csci, even though you're not an alcoholic, too much alcohol can cause a seizure, so please be careful.

Geoff.

[Ggrand]

Hello dear csci,

Thank you for getting back to us..

I am pleased to hear that you’ll give a sleep story a try..There are so many different people doing sleep stories..

On you tube..I listen to the sleep stories by Dan Jones..he has a gentle voice and is a professional in mental health and hypnosis....

Good luck csci..and if you feel up to it..please let me know how you found it and if the sleep stories helped you at all...

Kind thoughts dear csci..

Grandy..

[Here2Talk]

What do you do at the company? If you’ve just gone from a similar one that made you miserable, it makes sense that you would still be miserable - maybe it’s just the type of work in general (Which is one idea that you identified in your first post).

This imposter syndrome you talk about, is there evidence that you are doing poorly at the job, or are you just anxious being in a new place with new people?