dear Mandakini, firstly thanks for posting a comment on this site, because many times it's just so hard to be able to open up to people who you don't know, but it's terrific that you have done this, because you can't suffer all by yourself, and on this site there are so many wonderful people who have been struggling with their type of depression, but who want to help others and their battle.
As I said in my previous post 'it's not about you being weak and not being able to cope, because with depression it just destroys our own confidence, lack of self esteem and ability to be able to get on on with our life.
I feel so sorry for you and being alone to suffer by yourself.
There are a few issues that you have to understand that by having this illness then creates a different life for us, such as, we self medicate, and you as well as I did was to turn to drinking alcohol, because we use this as a coping mechanism, and yes by drinking alcohol doesn't do us any good for the medication that we take, and I was told this many times by my psychologist and my doctor, but I was at a stage in my life that nothing else could help me go from day to day, and by having OCD this only made my my anxiety and continual fear of what was around the corner and what I was to expect, and back then it was only all bad news.
You will be unable to 'pull yourself together' by yourself, it's not possible, although we think that sometimes we have overcome some problem but in reality it's not the main problem that is causing us for having these illness's, all it does is put a bandaid on the concerns which are troubling us.
You do need to see a doctor, which you have already to get the medication you are now taking, but it has to go much deeper than this, and what this means is for your doctor to organise a medicare plan, where you can see a psychologist for 10 free sessions, and I always seem to say psychologist because I have always found that they are more lenient and approaching, compared to psychiatrists who can administer different drugs for you, but these may conflict with what your doctor has prescribed to you, so it can be a 50/50 situation, where some people prefer one more than the other.
Please come back to us, because being alone and being rejected by people who believe that it's only weakness, is not going to help you.
We want to help you through this. L Geoff. x
