Hi all.
Over the last year or so I’ve been experiencing a whole range of weird sensations. Everything for dizzy spells, to feeling like i’m almost losing consciousness, to chest discomfort, weird pains in my gut - a pretty constant feeling of ‘unwellness’ - that something isn’t right.
I’ve been to the doctors, and been referred to a number of other health care professionals and specialists. Every test comes back negative. I’ve had my heart checked, I’ve had my head checked, loads of blood tests, monitors and the like, none show anything out of the normal.
I’m not naturally one to stress over too much. But this health thing is beginning to cause me quite a lot of anxiety. I find myself becoming incredibly worried about it all, and have developed quite a fear of suddenly dying. I sometimes wake in the middle of the night, gripped by this sudden strong and intense terror, that i’m about to go - that my heart is about to stop beating and that will be that. Or at other times, perhaps sitting at work, suddenly I’ll feel a little dizzy, get incredibly nervous and feel that ol’ familiar fear grip me. That this is it. I’m a goner… and I won’t get to live out all the dreams I have - all the things that I want to do with my life.
Other times I’m scared that there is just something the doctors have missed, some undiagnosed disease slowly eating away at me.
It all feels a bit much sometimes. Generally I can function fine, and don’t let people know about the anxiety that is boiling away just under the surface. I mean what am I meant to do? Turn to my friend and say, “I think I might be about to die” - Even that sounds crazy to me!
So far I have refused to let it stop me from doing anything that I would normally do, but that in itself can make some really enjoyable things in my life so stressful! Playing sport afraid that you might be about to collapse on the field is awful.
I’m just not entirely sure what to do… or who I should talk to, or what I should even say - but I would love to be free of this constant worry, to be given a clean bill of health and just know that I’m fine - that I can go live my life without this nagging fear that calamity is waiting just around the corner. I’m having moments where I just feel exhausted by it all, and I don’t want it to begin to impact relationships in my life.
Has anyone else felt like this? Experienced something similar? Beaten something like this?
