Mild fear of flying

[Hope_for_the_best]

I know there are a lot of nervous flyers out there. I would consider myself one, though I am not to the extent of not being able to board a plane and cannot sleep nights before a flight etc. I have been flying since the age of one, and basically I have been on some 100 flights from as short as 1 hour to 12 hours. People would think I am very used to flying and comfortable with it. Well, to some extent it is, but indeed I am not too comfortable with take off and turbulence. I can deal with take offs pretty well: a headphone and closed eyes for 2 minutes when the plane leaves the ground. Once the plane is in air, I am completely okay. I often book a window seat so I can look at the view of the city from the plane. The great view out of the window and in-flight entertainment often make me forget about any fears. I would be relaxed for the rest of the flight unless the seat belt sign comes on / the plane gets bumpy. I can endure some bumpiness, but I start to fear when the turbulence is like rapidly ascending and descending for 10 floors. I know in real life the plane is not going to drop that much and turbulence is rarely dangerous (from my aviation friends), but I can't help being scared! I was flying back from England once and encountered some pretty bad turbulence, like the whole plane was in a washing machine for 2 minutes! My mum was with me that time, so I held her hands very tightly until it was over. My mum was surprised that I got that scared because I have been flying a lot of long haul flights on my own (at least two each year). What she does not know is - I did not encounter that sort of turbulence in those flights! For some reason the passengers around me appeared very calm in the middle of a bad turbulence. They were watching movies as if nothing was happening. I wanted to scream but I worried about making a fool of myself. I wonder if I was overreacted. Does anyone feel the same with turbulence?

My psychologist is aware of my fear, and she reassures me that my fear is perfectly normal because this does not stop me from flying. My desire for holiday always overcomes any fears of flying, but I wish to feel more comfortable with turbulence as this is unavoidable. She suggests that I do some breathing exercises when the turbulence comes. Do you have any other tips? Thanks.

[Croix]

Dear Hope.for.the.best~

I too really dislike flying, as do umpteen other people. I guess for me part of it is not being in control and not knowing what is going on.

As for tips, well I can tell you what I do, which is read. I grimly hang on to a favorite novel and read my way thought the flight, particularly takeoff and landing. Distraction is the only thing that works at all. No amount of logic or reassurance all is normal and safe does anything I'm afraid.

One other thing, try gripping a wrist rather than a hand, otherwise you may crush someone's fingers.

Croix

[Hope_for_the_best]

Thanks Croix. I also find the feeling of "not in control" uncomfortable. Thanks to my aviation and pilot friends, I have known a great deal about flying and it has certainly helped. I flew a lot with my family when I was young but I could not remember any bad cases of turbulence (there must be). My flying experience was quite positive back then. I found the airplane's seat belt very interesting as a kid! Part of my fear may come from travelling alone, as I mostly fly by myself these days. I really admire my friends who are big fans of roller coaster. They are the ones who enjoy turbulence.

Thanks for your kind advice on gripping. Of course, I will never grip any strangers on a plane no matter what!

[docker_mad_dave]

Dear hope for the best,

I’m so glad I found your post! I’m currently at home in tears as I fly out for NZ in two days time and I’m like this every single time I fly due to my fear of flying. I mostly travel for sporting events but this time it’s for a mates wedding. Nearly every time I leave booking flights until the last moment and book with the best of intentions but as the flight(s) get closer I find myself worrying, unable to sleep at night. I even contemplate postponing the flights so I can sleep easier and not have the worry

of knowing I have to fly.

Like yourself the turbulence gets me but also occasionally the speed up to take-off also gets me which can have me gripping the seat for dear life until the plane is off the ground and I feel stable in my seat.

Sometimes I have to force myself onto the plane and just put up with the few minutes leading up to and during take-off.

I can’t thank you enough for sharing your fear cause I’m a nearly 40 year old person who hates that someone my age has this terrible fear which causes them to break down in tears, feel anxious, not function properly in the weeks and days before hand. Hopefully you read this before I fly as some encouragement would be much needed. I hope you’re managing your fear.

docker_mad_dave

[Croix]

Dear Docker_mad_dave~

I'm glad you came here and found that others too suffer from the same fear. Actually if you looked at all the passengers in a plane taking off or landing you might notice a fair proportion are showing signs of stress. It is very common. I look at them to distract myself.

Actually you sound a pretty brave person. Faced wiht almost overwhelming fear you carry on and fly anyway. That takes a lot of courage.

You will already have read my means of coping. The only other thing I'd suggest is if you practice a breathing exercise if things get too much: 4 beats in, 4 on hold, 4 exhale, and 4 wait. Do not try too hard but make it almost like natural breathing. This can be done unobtrusively in your seat and does tend to leave one calmer.

On the days before I'd suggest practicing wiht the free smartphone app Smiling Mind. It does take practice, but has exercises to suit everyone, even me who has the attention span of a goldfish.

With practice it can break the cycle of unwanted thoughts and fears leaving one much calmer.

If you felt like letting us know how you get on that would be great

Croix

[blondguy]

Hello Docker_mad_dave and thankyou for being a part of Beyond Blue too!

You are strong by flying in the first place. I envy your resilience...I wish I had the strength you possess. As you know everyone has varying levels of anxiety. 

Just for myself I have no desire to fly on a Boeing 737 or the now redundant 747-400 Jumbo. After many years of generalized anxiety/PTSD. 

Croix mentioned the standard breathing technique which sometimes can be helpful for people that are 'nervous' flyers.

You are strong  Docker_mad_dave. I wish I had even a small amount of your strength. I wish I was 'nearly 40' again! I am 20 years older....Doh!

I really hope you can (only if you wish) stick around the forums. You speak from the heart...and that is another strength you possess

my kindest always

Paul

[sashamentalhealth]

hello! 

thank you for sharing. its completely normal to fear flying as i experience similar things as you. one thing that has helped me in managing my fear during turbulence is to remind myself that there is pressure coming from above and below which will prevent the plane from falling. i have also used techniques like the 5-4-3-2-1 technique (5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste) to lower my flying anxiety and calm myself down when i feel that my fear is rushing through my body. 

i hope this helps!