Message Anxiety

[f1freak41]

Hi All,

I have been diagnosed with Social Anxiety and I am seeing a Mental Health professional. I struggle with lots of things but lately I have been having a great deal of panic attacks surrounding instant messaging. My best friend lives in the US, and she often messages me however due to the time difference it is usually once or twice a day. That is fine but due to her job often she will "leave me on read" I understand why this is but I often worry I have upset her or I might have sent the wrong message accidentally that will annoy/upset her. Does Anyone have any advice?

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi f1freak41,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for being here.

Ohh I can so relate to this. Ever since I could send a sms or any instant message it can cause me anxiety, even now sometimes. I understand the worry of feeling like you've might upset her or annoyed her too.

One of the things that's helped me is trying to find lots of ways why that might not be true, and to remind yourself of them. So as an example it might be -

- I've had this thought for x amount of messages and at no point did I annoy or upset her

- I trust that my friend will tell me if I've annoyed or upset her (this was important for me so I knew my friend would call me out instead of just ignoring me)

- I didn't write down anything offensive

- If my friend wrote down this to me I don't think I'd be annoyed or upset

- My friend is working or busy right now and that's to do with her and not me

- This is only a thought. Thought's aren't facts.

- 100% of the time this isn't true. (or 99% if it's ever happened once)

You may also find there's something in your settings to turn off the 'read' option depending on what phone/platform you are using.

Hope this helps!

[baet123]

Hi f1freak41,

Welcome to BB and thanks for sharing a bit about yourself and your situation with us.

I can tell that you care for this person a lot and not being able to correspond with them all the time would be really hard for anyone.

It is really important and encouraging that you are seeing a mental health professional and let your professional know how your feelings regarding your panic attacks associated with instant messaging.

May I ask how long you have been experiencing panic attacks for and are you taking any medication or participating in any therapy sessions at present?

When you are experiencing a panic attack, you could try the following techniques which may assist you during that moment:

- Use deep breathing

- Close your eyes and try to relax

- Try and exercise when you are feeling super anxious

- Picture your happy place

Hope this helps!

Nick.