Meeting my Anxiety head on before my children arrive.

[Chrissap81]

Hi all,

First of all I would like to say that reading this forum has been great for me as it is comforting to know that there is so much support out there to assist with all forms of Anxiety. I am knew to understanding really what Anxiety is but have been suffering since I had a panic attack 12/13 years ago. Since then I have had several instances where the panic attack has reared its ugly again but the most concerning is controlling my thoughts which tend to race from time to time and often tend to search for something wrong when in fact there is nothing wrong. In fact it is sometimes better for me to have something wrong to focus on as it takes away from the thoughts racing such as finances or work. I have always tried to meet the anxiety fears head and get on with it - but lately I have found myself withdrawing from these events - public speaking - work - social life and I recently had my first panic attack in some time which was triggered due to work performance amongst other things.

Anyway I have just found out that I am going to be a Dad and this has sent my Anxiety into overdrive over the past week. I seem to be thinking of anything that can go wrong in the pregnancy and even accidents when the baby arrives - This is obviously compounded by the usual anxiety that I am sure goes along with anyone becoming a parent and I am sure there is elements of it that will pass - but with my history I want to make sure that I take steps to get this sorted over the next 8 months and beyond. I want to be a great Dad and don't think I can be with these types of thoughts/feelings going on in my head.

It would be great to hear from anyone who has similar experiences and any ideas as far as first steps to take.

thanks all.

[PamelaR]

Hello Chrissap81

So pleased you've found your way to the Beyond Blue (BB) forums. Welcome! People here are friendly, caring, supportive and respect your privacy.

Having a panic attack is very frightening. I do understand what you experience. I've had them for a long time.

Those racing thoughts and sometimes illogical thoughts can drive you mad hey? I find they happen at night especially when you lay your head down to sleep...

Have you seen a doctor and/or therapist in the past about your anxiety? As a first step that is something I would do. I.e. Organise a long appt with your doctor and talk about seeing someone to help you manage your anxiety. You can get a mental health plan that entitles you to 10 bulk billed visits to a psych/counsellor.

I have worked all my life until I retired last year. I've had to learn to manage my anxiety throughout my work life and even more recently when it has caught me full on since retiring and having a fall. That's what led me to BB myself. So, I'm back with my psych and doing my usual techniques to help when I have a panic attack, I.e.

• Slow my breathing. Counting in for 5 and out for 5. Sometimes when it's particularly bad, i hold my breath for 5 and hold 'nothing' for 5 (before breathing in again). I focus on my breathe as it goes in through my nose, throat, chest, lungs and down to the diaphragm and out.
• Distract myself by doing some grounding, mindfulness, meditation.
• Exercise - going for walks, gardening etc.
• Talk with people
• Making sure I eat and live healthy.

BTW - Congratulations on becoming a dad. I'm sure you are very organised so you will put in place some steps to take in the next 8 months. That is all good stuff. It helps you and in fact it's something very practical to do.

You're not alone Chrissa. There are many people out there who live with anxiety everyday and still maintain a good life with children and family. Sending you care and good energy.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Chrissap81]

Thank you so much PamelaR

I must admit I did start the process with the bulk billing psychotriast a few years ago and got a couple of sessions in and stopped - i think mostly because it made me feel better. I realise now that this is not a quick fix as everyone mentions on the forums.

Thanks again for your reply and yes although it is early days I am already trying to put plans in place for our exciting new arrival later in the year.

Enjoy your retirement and all the best.

Regards

Chris

[PamelaR]

Good luck Chris.

Yes, I think you've nailed it - there is no quick fix. It's ongoing management. Somedays are better than others. I get triggered when I least expect it. Now though, with my recent run with the psych I'm able to identify those triggers much more quickly. This helps, so I can start looking at my thoughts, examining them and challenging (or finding alternative thoughts) them.

BTW drop in to BB forums any time you need.

Regards

PamelaR