I have been aware for several years that I have a crippling anxiety around medical tests, to the point where I basically don't have them done.
So I was born with a genetic condition inherited from my father. The syndrome has various symptoms, all of which are present at birth.
His major symptom was huge trouble with his eyes from childhood , resulting in him being legally blind at around 59 yrs old.
I did not have eye trouble to his extent at all. I am now 51
When I was 19, in 1988 I accompanied him to an eye specialist. Even though I did not have an appointment they put me in the chair. They saw some vascularization on my eyes and said basically quit your life you will be blind in 10 yrs.
I have been to numerous eye doctors since then who have said your corneas are fine, you are no tf going tyo go blind. Probably 5 different eye doctors have said that.
Well I took that 30 yr old report to an eye specialist 2 weeks ago because of some dry eye symptoms and he said your eyes have not changed , and in fact my visual acuity test was 6/5 (excellent)
But the last 3 week's waiting for this appointment has been a nightmare. I can't forget that original diagnosis and I feel like maybe all these other doctors were wrong and the first diagnosis was right? I have no issues with my vision and I know it's illogical but the trauma of that diagnosis of blindness, even though I didnt believe it at the time has haunted me. I can't get rid of it
I have an appointment on Monday with a dry eye specialist and waiting for this appt has caused me such severe anxiety to panic attack mode. I've been going through this this for 3 weeks since I booked it
I never ever EVER book medical appts. Dental ones are fine, but anything else no way. I wil never forgive that eye specialist 32 yrs ago for what he has done to me
