Maroon Moon Here

[Maroon_Moon]

Hello Everyone, New to posting here

I've had depression and anxiety on and off for years, but in the past year and a half my anxiety has skyrocketed relating to Health Anxieties that have had no reality after talking with GP's

Three ish weeks ago, started having the sensation that breathing was unsatisfying. at first, I thought it was just allergies and ignored it, but when this snap lockdown kicked in, the symptom kicked into high gear. Spent a few days and nights thinking I was going to die, and yet the GP still insists there is nothing wrong.

I've seen a psychiatrist and the therapist for a while now, and I managed things in relation to my ADD and ASD, but this latest one has me blunted. I focus on one of these different symptoms through the day that I fear will kill me, which I will then go days/weeks/months not worrying about, even getting checked up and confirming they are nothing before I look at the spot they are in and the cycle begins again.

a few days ago I started getting tension headaches, still got one writing this out now, just on one side of my head.

I've not been on medication for managing these symptoms for a long time, took some a few years back but then stopped and didn't have any problems. I've always come through these periods in the past, and I'm confident I will for this one as well, but then another part of my brain starts saying "Unless..." and i'm sure you can fill in the rest of that sentence.

I guess i want to feel less alone, and talk about these experiences with people outside my direct circle, so I'm not burdoning them with something uncontrollable. it makes it easier to withdraw if that's the reason i['m' withdrawing, and i don't want to withdraw.

Hope this makes sense

[james1]

Hello Maroon Moon,

Welcome!

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all these health concerns, while also having to feel quite alone in doing so.

I must admit I do not know much about health anxieties, but I am certainly here to chat with you if that is what would help you. I am also keen to understand more about your experience, as it sounds like this is something that really affects your day to day life quite a lot, but it also sounds like there's not much you feel like you can do about it.

Still, I can certainly relate to the idea of wanting to share and talk to people, even if only just to pre-emptively stop the cycle of withdrawing and falling into a more severe loneliness.

I hope the tension headaches do not last long. I remember looking up headaches once upon a time, and it was interesting to read that they are a problem that nobody seems to ever really be able to pinpoint the reason why they occur.

James

[Croix]

Dear Maroon Moon~

I'd like to join James in welcoming you here. I can relate to your having worries about symptoms, some of which have the potential to be quite severe. I get tension headaches which tend to come on of an afternoon and umpteen other problems too. One of the most worrying is chest pain, which for someone of my age and lifestyle is quite possible.

In all cases I've had the symptoms checked, and in some cases such as my chest pain reexamined before I've been satisfied they are caused by my anxiety, and not based on a physical cause.

Can I suggest you go back to your medical team and see if you can have your medications and therapy re-instituted after having had your breathing and headaches checked?

The physical check is a nuisance as it takes up time and one has to wait for results, but it is the wise thing to do, then when they come back negative you have more to help you deal with the anxiety.

Yes, I know anxiety is not a logical as all that, but it can help.

Beyond Blue has a great deal of information on health and other forms of anxiety here, dealing with symptoms, treatment and the best type of lifestyle to help.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety

The recent snap lock-down will not have helped at all, are you able to tele-health your doctor or the rest of your medical team at the moment?

Please let us know how you go

Croix

[geoff]

Hello Maroon Moon, and a warm welcome to the site and what you are saying is that somebody's anxiety can come and go depending on the situation they're in and whether the circumstances, not only for them but also for the restrictions that need to be implied for the rest of the population, such as what's happening in regard to these lockdowns.

Everyone is completely different where you may not be worried, whereas your family and/or friends may display another form of confusion, misunderstanding or perhaps break the trust you had with them once before, only because they comprehend the situation another way, either positively or negatively.

Everybody has another opinion but we don't have to accept what they say but need to be prepared to challenge what they do only if you feel strong enough, however, if you aren't then it's best to leave it alone, your health is much more important.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Maroon_Moon]

Hello James

Thank you for the welcome

I do have a tendency to write in a way that feels absolute. I'm an aspiring writer, even had a piece included in a recent book (withholding for privacy)

I suppose it's because after you've accepted a symptom, and accepting and living doesn't change it, you do get fatalistic about it, even if you're "aware" it won't be fatal, and it becomes a game of seeing how big you can live with this perceived restriction

I hope this isn't too selfish (classic D/A symptom, but also how im lik3) and I would love to help out others if I can. Irs what I want my art to do, especially for the adhd and asd community

But I'm rambling. Thank you for the welcome. It makes things feel less alone.

MM

[Maroon_Moon]

Hello Croix

That sounds like a full on life. I do take solace in the experiences I've read where people who have had real medical problems still feel anxiety from them in the same way as those who have not, like myself (putting aside mentalnheslth of course)

Last GP I went to gave me a referral to a cardiologist to do a heart stress test. She said she was certain it wasn't my lungs because it didn't hurt to breath and I could run without pain or impediment.

The team is available but I'm reluctant to use them just right now due to COVID, seeing them recently and in the case of my therapist, money. They are familiar with me at the clinic, I'm getting physio there as well for my neck.

I guess I'm in the situation where I don't know what to do but that doesn't alarm me? Fatalism does help a little, and my partner has the perfect perfect mix of tough real talk and caring action. Its why we work together.

I'll stop the essay for now, thank you for the welcome.

MM

[Maroon_Moon]

Hello Geoff

Thankfully, or perhaps better to say conveniently, im very lucky to have a family who understands.

Parents and brothers, while not directly supportive, are accepting and assisting when they are able. We all live busy lives, so sometimes that's only possible online, but we still share

These lockdowns are hell, and asuch as last year was worse and ive good homing, I do need to accept that the timing of the symptoms with the lockdown, even if ive not been able to draw a direct line, very likely is connected, and I'm responding with a trauma response. Which I imagine a lot of Melbourne will probably have to deal with moving into the future.

I suppose that's why they say its boring to live through history

Thank you for your welcome it feels better to be less alone

MM

[Maroon_Moon]

Update

So I've seen my therapist and psychiatrist and got a round of medication.

I've had really bad health anxiety the oast few days, assuming every symptom is some fatal illness, and after the session and the lockdown lifted, those aspects left. Only the breathing thing remains, and while it still doesn't feel like its affecting my capacity to breathnor eat, and doesn't hurt, it now feels like breathing through a filter

The GP I saw said it was stress, as did both the professionals I saw today, and I should be happy with that

But the breathing symptom remains, and while remaining I can't help but pay attention to it

Any advice on more ways to distract from it, and perhaps what other symptoms (from an external mind that is not mine and able to be more rational) i should look out for in case the breathing thing isn't just anxiety and requires another trip to the GP?

Cheers

MM

[james1]

Hello MM,

I'm glad some of the symptoms have since gone away. It sounds awful to be dealing with all of that at once.

I understand the breathing symptom is one that you are still concerned about, and are not quite convinced that it's not just anxiety. I can't really offer any pointers on other symptoms to be worried about because any one symptom can be indicative of so many things. Perhaps instead, it might be worthwhile considering what might help you get more comfortable that there's not any underlying condition. Would it be helpful to see a different GP to get a different opinion? Or if you trust your current GP, it may be helpful just to go back for another session anyway to talk about your lingering concerns. In my own experience, there's a real challenging line to walk between not feeding our anxieties by thinking about them too much, but also being able to talk about them and not hold them in.

Another thought could be that, as you said, there's been a lot of challenges since covid started and lockdowns happened. Anecdotally, a lot of people are experiencing anxieties they've never had to face before and this is only going to be worse for people who already were dealing with anxiety prior to covid. Which is all to say that for many people, this period is a matter of riding it out with all the support they can get around them - friends, family, or even just strangers like us who understand how challenging anxiety can make our day to day life.

James