Help please

[Akiner]

Hi everyone.

My life has had its ups and downs.
Mostly downs then ups unfortunately.

My sister passed away in 2014 at 26 by an unforeseen circumstance.
The moment she passed, I wanted to pass on with her and had no will to live. Somehow found my way out
of the everyday struggle and started to live again, but not really, when that one person gave me everything and I gave them all I could in return. My go to person.

Through out my hole life ive struggled with my anger issues. Ive faced depression without knowing it was depression in highschool and MAJOR anxiety which has impacted my person life severely till this day.

I've got a bad habit with my friendships that I dont know how to control, if they confront me with something I dont like
I feel like it would just end up being a fight or never talking again. There is no in-between, I can cut a person off just like that if I feel threatened in anyway (most of the time), and that's me avoiding criticism because I dont know how to respond to it. I re think and re think and re think where I JUST WONT LET IT GO, AND I won't say anything and let it eat me up inside till I get over it. Something very little can be the biggest thing to me.

Overall, I just feel like a wreck, worn down, insecure, same repetitive not emotionally secured bitch.
I listen to my mums advice a lot though, and although it's boring shes 65 years of age and knows a heck of a whole lot more than I do.

I just feel like my soul isn't happy with me.

I need help!

[Sophie_M]

Hi Akiner,

I'm very sorry to hear about you losing your sister.  It sounds incredibly difficult to be living without her, particularly as she seems to be a very important person in your life.  I can understand that it is difficult to live each day hoping she was with you.  Grief of a loved one is very difficult to process and grief unfortunately has it's own timeframe to complete the process.

I can understand that dealing with depression and anxiety offers another layer of complexity and makes things more challenging for you.  It sounds like relationships can also be hard for you and recognize that being confronted with criticism affects you quite deeply.  

There are some supports that can help you if you would like to speak to someone regarding processing those feeling.   You can get in touch with Griefline - 1300 845 745. GriefLine provides counselling support services free of charge to individuals who are experiencing loss and grief.  

You can also contact Beyond Blue Support Service who are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals. 

We would also recommend that you get in touch with an organisation called Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277. They provide relationship support services for individuals, families and communities and aim to support all people in Australia to achieve positive and respectful relationships.  

[Akiner]

God bless. Thank you