Journal?

[Patches63]

I’m currently waiting to see someone for help with my mood swings and images in my head. In small group and online I’m naturally a talker. Finding am wanting to talk about how I’m feeling in hope of getting it out of my system or easing the pain. Have never done before but am wondering if writing or typing in some type of journal my fears, anxiety, emotions might help.

has anyone done similar?  If so, did it help?

[kwilgbob]

Ive just started, it helps. I started writing random throughts, drew a line under some things and kept writing, not looking back, felt liberating

[Croix]

Dear Patches63~

Yes I've kept a journal which lasted on and off for several years and yes it did help, though it was not as straightforward as I first thought.

Keeping at it every day was a chore, and I did not always do so, though if things were bad I'd make an effort and try. Setting things down did help to keep them in proportion and the actual writing served as a distraction. Unfortunately when things were good I'd neglect the writing which meant over time the whole thing was too far out of balance, with the world portrayed as mostly bad.

There were a couple of positive spin-offs, the first being I had an accurate record of the down times to give ot my psych, and that would give an overall trend. The second was if I looked in it I could find things that had helped -a walk, a book, a talk etc which I'd forgotten about.

If you would prefer an electronic version on your phone you may find something here as a starting point

https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/resources-support/digital-tools-apps/

https://au.reachout.com/tools-and-apps

Hope that helps

Croix

[Mark Z.]

Hi Patches63,

It certainly helps. Journaling encourages self-reflection and introspection. When I write about my experiences and thoughts, I feel that I gain a deeper understanding of myself, my possible triggers, and patterns of thinking. This self-awareness helps me identify sources of anxiety. And as long as I understand myself better, the anxiety is eased.

In addition, for a while I was journaling and seeing a psychologist regularly. I found that because of journaling, I was able to describe my mental state to the psychologist in a wider and deeper way, which greatly helped the him in his analysis.

Mark

[Patches63]

Thanks everyone for the information and encouragement.  At times find myself doubting what I do including is it beneficial or am I just wasting time and causing myself more pain.

Mark Z you mentioned possible triggers. This is something I know I hope to get some help with and how to better cope with the impact of my triggers.  I’m aware of some of my triggers due to events within last approx 5 years for which when I reached out for help was left no better and illusioned.  

thanks for those links Croix, will have a look at them over the weekend when I know I’m in best current head space.  

Patches

[Mark Z.]

Hi Patches63,

Thanks for your feedback. When you say you reached out for help but was left no better and illusioned, do you want to share this story? We might be able to share some experience or give some advice.

Mark

[Patches63]

Sure Mark.   I was working full time at the time and contacted Employee Access Program, explained exactly what was happening in my life at that time, areas I knew I was struggling and requested to be referred to some one to help me with coping mechanisms.  I had already spoken to gp I was seeing at that time who I felt wasn’t supportive.  
time line blurs to some degree.  My husband had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and was starting to spend almost as much time in hospital as he was home.  wasn’t coping from grief aspect. Even one delay in his release from hospital once left me extremely upset.

clearly explained on patient info sheet plus verbally in first session I knew I needed help with coping mechanisms.  First and every session was the same, counsellor asking me about me week and saying we would meet following week to give me hour away from everything to talk.  When I asked about coping mechanisms/strategies to help deal with things was told would focus on them the following week but never happened. Attended 3 sessions coming away feeling I could have spoken to my supportive manager and felt same.  Contacted Employee Assistance Program and requested to be referred to some one else, when they phoned back my husband was fading quickly and was only short while before his final days.  
 stress flares up some of my physical health issues.  Knowing this and already starting to struggle in that area I spoke to gp who told me nothing he would do meds wise until I had gone through counselling.  Felt was trapped in endless circle.  Counselling was never offered to my husband or myself through cancer section of local hospital. Looking back I never asked but, due to my husband having almost gone to ICU within few weeks after diagnosis I was focusing on one day at a time

[Mark Z.]

Hi Patches63, 

I'm really sorry to hear about what you were going through. It sounds incredibly tough, and it's totally okay to feel overwhelmed. You were doing such as amazing job to try to access different supports, I'm sorry that they didn't work for you.

If your GP isn't giving you what you need, there's no harm in getting a second opinion. You need to look after your mental health just as much as your physical health. It is the same with your counselor. If the one you've been seeing hasn't helped, it's fine to tell the program why and ask for another counselor who suits you better.

I think you can also try other types of support. For example support groups, such as GriefLine - They provide counselling support services free of charge to individuals and families experiencing loss and grief. You can call them at 1300 845 745.

It will also be a good idea to give a call to BeyondBlue hotline 1300 224 636 (24/7) to talk to a professional for cope strategies and supporting resources.

Do take care of yourself. Do little things that help you relax. Try deep breathing, going for a walk, or anything else that helps you chill out. And don't forget to rest, eat well, and do stuff you enjoy when you can.

Hope everything will be better.

Mark

[Patches63]

Thanks Mark.

Couple days I spoke to BB on call counsellor and had a good chat.  She has sent me information and links to list of professionals who provide Somatic Experiences(SE) or EMDR.  
yesterday I spoke to woman in nearby area who provides SE Equine Therapy, have completed extensive questionaire you sent me and waiting to hear back.  She also advised me of another provider of SE Equine Therapy who is approx 1hr drive from me.

Last counselling I received which I feel was beneficial to me was grief counselling approx 15 years ago.  Speaking to BB counsellor she said she believes that due to me now being retired from work, even though my nervous system is on high alert, that the impact of multiple unresolved trauma events are no impacting on me.

I’m not much of an outdoor person.  I used to enjoy drives through the country side and drives down to the coast, issues with being scared of trucks plus petrol prices is making it harder to do these.  I’m a music and craft person, people who don’t know don’t understand why I have quite sizeable collection of music related cds, mainly with songs from 50’s to 80’s.

yesterday I found and bought the notebook I want to use for my journal. As I shared with younger cousin with whom we had great relationship growing up (with me being an only child and her only having brothers, we were raised that we are closest to being sisters that’s possible) and semi still do, my thoughts for journal are 1) naming every traumatic event and recording how I remember it made me feel etc 2) notes/dot points for feelings/struggles plus positive/happy things, target being at least couple days each week. 3) writing letters to people who have already died where there is emotional upset linked to both positive and negative memories.

grief counsellor years ago suggested trying journal and/or letters and I couldn’t do it.

I’ve also taken note of details of professional who provides SE that is not Equine Therapy linked as another possible for getting help.  

Patches

[Croix]

Dear Patches~

That sounds pretty positive and gives things to hope for

I found with the journal it helped upon re-reading if after describing how badly I felt I also tried to record what made me feel better -at that specific time. I know you plan on including positive and happy things but having something good at the end of a passage of bad does give a resource and hope.

I can very much understand your choice of music as I am particularly fond of those times, in fact I think my favorite song is "Windmills of your Mind" from the late 60's

SE Equine Therapy sounds most interesting and I've heard good things about it.

Please let us know how you go

Croix