Job loss and anxiety

[Purple_Horse]

Hello,

I’m very new to this community and this is my first time posting on the forums. I guess I just need to get a weight off my chest as I haven’t got many people to talk to.

I‘m 29 and have been suffering from anxiety on and off pretty much since I was a teenager. I have never sort professional help as my anxiety has stopped me from reaching out, although I came very close last year. My own mental health issues have often been eclipsed by that of family members who have actual diagnosed illnesses and so mine appear lesser. I often feel I take on their issues while mine fall by the wayside.

Today I was made redundant from my workplace due to COVID-19, something I could sense coming, although it still came as a shock. For the last couple of years I have absolutely hated working there, however my fear of change and anxiety to job search stopped me from moving on.

I have developed severe social anxiety over these last couple of years due to the work environment, a place that favors extroversion and confidence to actual dedicated and hard working employees. I often felt ostracized and lonely due to the social cliques that formed around me.

Although I can see that this is somewhat of a blessing in disguise, I am now faced with the prospect of looking for work during this time of minimal job openings. As well as the prospect of having to navigate job interviews with my social anxiety. My anxiety levels are tittering on the very edge and I feel extremely lost and alone.

I’m so hurt that I’m not valued as an employee or colleague and can’t help but feeling worthless and alone. It feels as if all the niggling suspicions in my mind have been actualized.

Just looking for some advice or tips on how to move forward from this in a positive light?

Thank you,

PH 🙂

[Sophie_M]

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, Purple Horse. We're so grateful that you have reached out to our community tonight, we know that it is not an easy thing to do and you have shown a lot of strength in sharing your story. We are so sorry to hear what you've been going through, it sounds like you've been dealing with these feelings on your own for such a long time. We understand that things must be especially tough now due this pandemic, but please know that you've come to a safe space, and our community is here to offer you as much support, advice and conversation as you need. 

If you feel it might be useful, we'd encourage you to visit our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. This website is regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. You can also call our dedicated support line, staffed by mental health professionals, which is available 24/7 on 1800 512 348.  

Many of our members have felt similar and will be able to talk through these feelings with you. If you would like to post further, please tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best help you get through this tough period.
 

[MidnightOil]

Hey Purple Horse,

This sounds really tough and I'm glad you feel safe enough to share here. I understand the feeling of having something that is "not that bad compared to everyone else" but I have learned that ignoring it is not the solution. You've taken a really good first step here and I hope that you can find some comfort in this forum. If you can find some professional help that you would feel comfortable with then I would definitely suggest giving it a try.

I'm sorry that your workplace wasn't a good environment and I hope that you can find a more accepting place soon. I want to stress that I know that things like this can make you feel like all your fears or insecurities were correct, but just because someone didn't value you (in any space) does not mean that you are worthless. I know this is coming from a stranger but there will be people who don't appreciate you and that is their loss.

I have made a comment on the 'Anxiety & Getting A Job' forum about navigating interviews with social anxiety if you'd like to look at that. Job hunting is especially hard with the world in its current state but maybe some of it will be helpful.

I hope that you can find people on this forum and also where you live who will support and encourage you. Let us know how you're getting on 🙂