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Is this anxiety or is it ocd
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I recently purchased a book
I feel that everyday I need to read a whole chapter and can't settle unless I read it
Problem is because I have the obsession I am not understanding what the book says as I am concentrating more on getting the task done.
This is driving me insane is it ocd or anxiety?
How do I just read it when I want to read it instead of it being a daily chore
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Dear Ozziebear~
I can understand what you are saying and may be have an experience that might help. When I first was hospitalized my concentration was shot and a lifetime of reading stopped. Actually it had been stopped for a while. Up until then I read a lot, all sorts of things, and now I do again.
The problem was I'd scan a page, it would not sink in , so I'd read it again, and got nowhere. Maybe a bit like you trying to read a chapter and it not sinking in. My solution, well it was more luck than anything else, was to change to a different sort of book.
Instead of fiction suitable for adults I got a book of young adults' fantasy, and perhaps more importantly the pages were laced with puns and plays on words, so each few lines had its own appeal, quite apart from the plot. I've always liked puns and so on and my interest and ability to concentrate grew. Eventually I moved up to adolescents fantasy than later adult books.
So I'm afraid I've not answered your question about anxiety or OCD, but perhaps if you choose something you are closer to - or maybe even graphic novels - it might help. Later on you work up to other things.
Croix
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Hello Ozziebear, welcome to the site and I'm sorry to hear of what you have to do but this obsession is OCD and it's caused by anxiety.
If you have this need to read this chapter, it maybe on a specific number that you like to touch things such as, the chapter could be 3 or 4 and that's the number of times you need to touch the tap, the soap, the door handle or anything else.
I really feel sorry for you because I've had OCD for 58 years and have done what you are doing a long time ago and you may notice that other obsessions may develop, I hope not, but please don't be afraid.
It's not your fault by any means, but I know that it's very distressing when it does happen, I hope I can put your mind at ease by understanding how it works.
Geoff.
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Thanks so much Geoff
It really helps to know that I am not the only one who goes through this
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Hello Ozziebear,
I'm sorry you're having a difficult time, but am very glad you reached out here. It might be helpful if you think about why you feel the need to finish a chapter/day. Is it because you feel uneasy that something is unresolved, or something bad will happen if you don't read it, or something else?
I agree with Croix in that maybe the book is just not the right book for you right now. I am a big reader and know that if I don't like a book much I try to push myself to finish it anyway, but it becomes a chore and actually makes me anxious because I just want it to be done already. Do you have the same issue with other books? I know for me, depending on how I'm feeling mentally I can go for months without being able to read. I've just discovered graphic novels too which has been great in keeping my attention and I find it less stressful.
The other thing I was wondering is if it's on your mind as something you 'should' do. You know that feeling when you know you have a chore that you need to do today, but you put it off and off, but the whole time it's nagging at you with that anxious feeling. If you're feeling like reading the book is something you 'should' do for some reason, it can feel like a heavy burden.
I hope this helps a little.
Alexlisa x
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