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Im feeling overwhelmed.Loneliness and guilt.Dont want to lose friends.

Beaser
Community Member
Hi and best wishes. I am starting to feel myself slide again . I have long been involved in my local football club and having been single for so long so it has been like my family and my support network. I have a partner now and she isnt that interested i dont know how to go about things as far as continuing my involvement. I dont want to lose her over it but i need my friends and my social network. I have had a huge battle with depression and anxiety for my most of my life. I have leant on people for support too much at times and im scared that i may not have that support anymore because they may be tired of it. I have sruggled with work for so long as a result. I just want to be happy again .I feel like im on this horrible treadmill and never get anywhere. I would appreciate any feedback and thoughts from anyone i hope i have described my situation ok as it is hard to do . Thanks for reading and best wishes . Brett.
76 Replies 76

Beaser
Community Member

Thanks JT   I appreciate your kind words and encouragement...    I have battled a bit in recent days and i reached out and called my ex.    It wish i hadnt but my loneliness got the better of me. Ive started to feel a bit guilty and regret about how i went about things when we were together .  She has so much happening herself and hope i didnt upset her   .    Brett.

jtjt_4862
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hiya Brett,

 

I'm sorry to hear that. Would you like to talk about what it is that's making you feeling guilty and regretful?

 

Perhaps you can come up with a different approach on handling loneliness? For example, when I'm feeling lonely, I tell myself to accept that feeling of loneliness, and it is part of human nature to be feeling this way because we're social creatures. Then proceed to think of things I could do to occupy my mind. Such as looking up cooking recipes, talking to a friend (or group of friends) online, playing some video games etc. Happy to hear on some ideas that you can come up with for yourself :).

 

JT

Beaser
Community Member

Hi JT and nice to hear from you again.          I think i just feel guilty that at times i got a bit jealous about previous partners of hers making contact . I know that she did nothing wrong  or had no wrong intentions . I guess i just new or felt i new what there motives were for making contact. I know she got upset with me over this.  I think because we started our relationship during covid and were only allowed to see each other ,when this ended i also found a need to socialise with old friends and spend a bit of time apart.   I think with my loneliness i just get out with my dogs and im going to walk to my local Hotel today just to see some people and mix.   Thanks again JT  Always good to talk .

jtjt_4862
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hiya Brett,

 

It'll be up to her on how she manages the connection with her previous partners while continue being in a relationship with you. "Manage" in a sense that, she's keeping things at a platonic friendship level, while remaining focused on the relationship she has with you. It must've been hard for her to do so if she still had feelings for her previous partners (more of trying to heal from previous broken relationships) and needing to keep up with her current relationship with you. I hope that perspective may help you find a bit of closure to the breaking of your relationship. As EM mentioned before, closures are difficult to be found. Probably impossible too that we have to make due with whatever information we have, and accept it for what it is so we can move on with life.

 

Walking with dogs sounds great! What sort of dogs do you have? The hotel sounds like a great idea too. Not sure about your geographical location, but you could try other places like parks or dog-friendly cafes.

 

JT

Beaser
Community Member

Hi and thanks again JT.        Your right about making do with what information we have ,i think thats the hard thing for me  i just seem to have so much that i would like to ask .    I havent been in contact since yesterday and i know i have to leave it to her if she wants to talk.  I do want the best for her and her dad.     I have two maltese shitzus there great little dogs but require a lot of ongoing grooming .         Brett.

Beaser
Community Member

Im feeling really grey today im just so lost at the moment .  Im not sure where my life is headed with every thing that is going on .  I went to my football club yesterday and things arent to good there we got a big thrashing and there seems to be a lot of unhappy people around . Im a 56 year old man  and i just want to give someone a hug i just feel so alone.  Im scared and not sleeping i have to get myself out of this . Ive always done my best to be there for others but feel so alone myself now.    Brett

Beaser
Community Member

Hi EC      Hope your all good.  Im not sure why my type has gone into deep black here. I  went to my footy club yesterday and came back a bit sad as we got thrashed and there seemed a lot of unhappy people there.  I guess im a bit lost with things ATM.  How have you been ?