I want to be someone I'm not, I don't like who I am.

[amssy]

You never forget when someone comments on the way you look, because in a lot of ways, they are things you cannot change. Yes, you can lose weight, but it can also be a very long, slow process and there are often a lot of underlying emotional or physical issues behind why you became overweight in the first place. So when someone calls you ugly, or fat, or gross it cuts deep and scars you forever, especially when it's from someone you care about. These things are not things that can be changed overnight and everytime you look in the mirror you are reminded of those cruel words. My biggest fear of being a victim of fat shaming is how it can then cause you to be the victim of your OWN fat shaming because of the guilt that subsides from it and can literally eat you alive just by eating the 'unhealthy' option. A lot of thought, pressure, and dedication goes into losing weight, and even your achievements can be unraveled in a second by someone saying the wrong thing, whether on purpose or by accident, people's comments/insults can consume you and it's exhausting. I get so tired and I know I'm not the only one, and I get so scared of losing myself in wanting to be someone I'm not even sure I want to be?

[Zeal]

Hi, and welcome to the forum

I'm sorry to hear that you've had negative comments affect your self-esteem. Your point that emotional and physical issues are often underlying problems with weight is a good one. Not everyone can be "thin". Some people are genetically built to be more muscular or curvy, others might have mental illness that leads them to emotionally eat, and others find that medication can influence weight. If you think your weight is causing health problems, talk to your doctor. If you are in a healthy weight range, then that's great. Unfortunately many people in a healthy weight range don't feel comfortable with their body, because of pressure they feel to look a certain way. Even if someone is a bit overweight, they can still be quite healthy. The Body Mass Index (BMI) scale is just a guide, and doesn't take into account muscle mass (which weighs more than fat).

The best thing you can do for yourself right now is to focus on things you enjoy and spending time with people who make you happy.

If you'd like to talk to someone about how you're feeling, you can start by calling a helpline such as Beyondblue's 24/7 one on 1300 22 4636. You can call for mental health info and/or to talk about what's bothering you. Think of this helpline as a free and confidential phone counselling service.

It would be great to hear back from you 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal