I really need advice. It’s all too much.

[Tori_nawec]

It’s a long read.. but I’d appreciate anyone’s help.

Two months ago, while at work, all of a sudden I felt so short of breath, my chest/shoulders were tight and my head was spinning. no history of mental illness or really no clue what an anxiety symptoms were, i thought i was dying. I left work immediately to try and sleep it off. It didn’t get any better, so off I went to the doctor with extremely high heart rate, and I couldn’t breathe. Emergency Room it was for me. I had two ecg’s, blood tests, chest X-ray, and left with discharge papers saying “Anxiety reaction” .. the first month was HORRIBLE. I laid in bed 24 hrs a day. I hardly ate. (Lost 10kgs) I was too fragile/scared to even walk down my stairs. It’s the worst thing I’ve been through being in constant fear if something will happen to you.

i saw a psychologist. currently 3 sessions in. She is helping me to come to terms with it all. But my symptoms are very on and off and it’s so hard to deal with. My main symptom that started all of this, was my shortness of breath and something I really can’t get over, in two months, my breathing is the same, and tbh it’s becoming normal to me to not be able to breathe

I genuinely feel like my shortness of breath gives me anxiety, and I almost get anxious about getting anxiety symptoms. Sounds a little dumb.

I went back to work today for three hours. It was a STRUGGLE. And has taken me all day to feel semi ok. My coping mechanism is literally to lay in bed.

Im trying to eat and sleep better, exercise more, but I just feel so OVERWHELMED when I’m around people. Like everything is going so fast around me but I’m just, there. The shops, work, around a lot of family at a time, I just wanna go home. (I live alone)

I just want to know if anyone has a similar story with their feelings and symptoms :

- shortness of breath/ tight chest when trying to inhale deep. It’s resulted in me having pain under my left collarbone/shoulder when I take a deep breath anytime now cos I feel like I’m trying to do it all the time but I can’t help it. I just have the urge.. my breathing is the main issue for my anxious feelings!! I feel like I want to break my collarbones just to get a deep breath sometimes. (calm breathing just doesn’t do it for me?)

- dizziness, blurry eyes, dry eyes, headaches, unmotivated, tired all the time, denial, feeling like something is medically wrong still. Can’t concentrate.

I’ve also been thinking about medicine.. Maybe it’ll help me get through the day.

[Tori_nawec]

Hey,

aww that’s nice you can go to work with her.

that does suck 😞 but you will get through it!

Just really needing an understanding friend tonight. My psychologist sent me the letter she will send to my GP about my appointments, and she’s diagnosed me with Generalised Anxiety, Social Anxiety and Depression. So it’s all just becoming real for me and I’m trying not to freak out. 😞

[YellowPoppy]

It's always terrifying when you're told what's wrong with you.
Especially with mental illness cause its so complicated.
I wish I could make it easier fo you, and I know it's hard even if I don't know exactly how you feel, but you are taking the right steps. And I'll be you faceless anonymous friend for as long as you need me.

I'm off to bed now. I'll check in again tomorrow.

Thinking of you

YP

[Tori_nawec]

Thank you. Appreciate that!

talk soon , goodnight

[YellowPoppy]

Hey Tori,

So I'm at my mums work right now.

She finishes at 11.

Havent thought about the rest of the day yet.

What are your plans today?

[Tori_nawec]

Past couple of days have been full on for me. My anxiety and breathing problems have just been through the roof.

ive had to make some really big decisions and I hope I’ve made the right ones.

i quit my job that was causing me stress. I’ve decided to leave my house because I can’t afford it anymore and I’m going to be moving 2 hours away near the beach in a house my family owns. I don’t know how long for..

im really hoping this makes me feel better.. kinda a fresh start.

hope you’ve been travelling well.

tori

[YellowPoppy]

Hey,

I've been doing better, and everytime I say that I cringe because I've been better but I'm still struggling.

I'm glad you made some decisions, thats pretty big. I hope the move and change works out well for you!

I'm Assuming that where your moving to you'll still be living by yourself?

Hope things get better!

YP

[Tori_nawec]

Don’t worry I know exactly what you mean! But that’s good to hear.

yes I’ll be by myself kind of; my stepdads mother lives in a seperate part of the house but basically alone. Kind of comforting knowing someone is there anyway. But it’s a big move and I’m super nervous 😞 and my family visits every second weekend or so but I guess it will be good for me.

But thank you!

[YellowPoppy]

Hey,

Well it might be nice to see family every so often but you do have a big gap in between. I'm glad you don't need to worry about work for the moment.

Have you found anything that given you some relief?

I'll check back in tonight.

YP

[Tori_nawec]

My doctor refused to give me time off today. So In order for me to receive Centrelink I need to go in and apply for jobs three times a week. It’s exhausting. I just want them to understand I can’t do it right now.

she handed me a prescription for anti-depressants and told me it’ll make me better and I HAVE to take them.

frustrating how some doctors just don’t get it.

[YellowPoppy]

Hey,

My GP gave me a doctors certificate for 3 months which I have to centrelink and they exempt me from my job Seeker stuff for three months. I still need to report the day before my payment but I don't need to go to appointments or apply for jobs.

Are you able to go to a different doctor. That sounds pretty dodgy, my doctor didn't prescribe me anything, and then whrebn he mentioned it again 1 month later he talked to me about it and why I didn't want to and respected my decision to decline.

If you are no in danger of harming yourself or someone else they can't make you take anything.

Let me know how you go.

YP