I need advice

[Ruby_H]

Ok so basically I have a friend who I was joking around today with when I accidentally really hurt her feelings but for some reason that little realization of 'oh I just made her upset' turned into a massive realization moment: I don't think I'm a very nice person. i don't know what to do i feel so sick I keep thinking of these little things that I have been doing over the past year that seemed insignificant at the time but were actually really not nice. idk why but i can't move on from this i just have this constant intense guilt and anxiety feeling i can't sleep i can't eat i don't know how to move on and stop feeling guilty about stuff i can't do anything about i feel like a bad person. idk what to do. can someone help

[CJ1998]

Hey Ruby,

I know exactly how this feels, because I myself constantly overthink situations and worry myself over things I may have said or done.

We are all human and have said or done things in the past that we regret after. It certainly does not make you a bad person and the fact that you are feeling so upset over this shows that you are a good person. You care about your friend and the fact that you may have hurt her feelings.

I would suggest apologising to your friend and explaining that it wasn't your intention to upset her. Tell her how upset you have been feeling since that moment. She is your friend after all I am sure she would not want you feeling like this either to the point where you are sick and can't sleep or eat.

[Soberlicious96]

Dear Ruby,

Welcome to Beyond Blue, and well done for reaching out.

Many years ago, I was taught that a person begins to change by using the three A's: Awareness, Acceptance and Action.

What that means is that in order to 'fix' a problem, or change something, we need to first be aware of it. And you seem to be at the awareness stage, which is a great start. And then, by accepting that you can't do anything about yesterday or what has been, but that you CAN do something by taking action to not repeat the same behavior again, so as not to hurt people, is I guess the next step.

You are not a bad person, just because you might have said some things you regret; a 'bad person' would not even care.

Anyway, perhaps some self-help books or inspirational books might help? Or even talking to someone about what is going on for you at the time when you say the things you regret?

I don't know if any of that helps or not, but I do hope so. Take care. feel free to keep in touch on here. xo

[Ruby_H]

thank you for taking the time to help me out

[Ruby_H]

thanks for trying to help me out i really appreciate an outside perspective on it