I'm so lonely :(

[lmath56]

Hello, this is my first time posting.

I am not feeling too well at the moment. It is a long weekend and I am not enjoying it. I don't like normal weekends as it is, because I don't have any friends.

I moved to a new city by myself about 9 months ago and I didn't realise that I would find it so difficult to make friends. I haven't made a single friend.

Yesterday I went for a bike ride, but today I did nothing except sit on my phone, walk to the kitchen and look in the fridge, and then go back to my phone. I spent a lot of the day trying to find something to do, but I couldn't find anything I wanted to do.

I don't really have a hobby. I try to think about something that I would like to do and nothing comes to mind at all.

I still have tomorrow before work. I don't really enjoy my job at the moment. But it keeps me busy. I'm so bored and lonely. I feel like it is making me not think straight sometimes. I don't know what to do.

I have been seeing a psychologist, and I am on medication. But I am still so lonely.
The thought of going out and meeting people scares me, but I am fine talking to people at work. I can go to a store or make a phone call just fine. I don't understand.

I don't want to be lonely anymore. I want some friends, but I'm scared. I don't understand what of.

[JJ_77]

Hey there,

I went through a similar situation a few years ago when I moved states.

I didnt know a soul besides my parents and I had no job and had university wasn’t starting for 4 months. I went into a very sad place of getting up to eat and then going to sleep and repeating the next day.

One day I decided to take myself to the movies and see one by myself and it was amazing. I finally had a day where I did something I wanted to do and I wasn’t at home lying around.

I eventually got a job and overtime I made some friends through there and then again when university started. They were never extremely profound friendships but it was nice just to be able to chat to people outside of my home. I wonder if striking up conversations from people in your workplace could help? It can be scary asking people to hang out or generally chatting to them but if they’re not nice they aren’t meant to be your friends anyway.

I hope this helps a bit, moving places is extremely tough until you’re able to find your footing and in my case I’d never go back to where I moved from as I have met some amazing people and really grown as a person where I am now.

[Gambit87]

Hi,

Moving places is tough. especially when you don't know anyone.

maybe try going to meetups/hobby groups etc? If you bike ride perhaps a cycle club?

I moved to a completely new area and I was looking for things to do and make new friends. I found poker! The first game I went to I almost walked away from because the thought of people was terrifying. I kinda overcame that by thinking 'I'm there to play a game of poker' and just went in. The first night I didn't make any friends - just friendly banter. Over time though - you see the same people you start getting more and more friendlier.

[lmath56]

Thank you for your response. Yesterday I went for a walk and I went to the movies too! When I got home I felt alright.

I do talk to the people at work when I have some time, they are all nice. They are all mostly quite a bit older than I am, so it's a bit difficult to make outside of work friends there.

I have been looking on Meetup, and I have been working my way up to going to one, just not there yet though.

I'm seeing how I go here. I will probably end up moving again, but over seas this time to where a lot of my family is. I keep thinking about this as it gives me something to look forward to.