Hi everyone. I'm really looking forward to hearing your experiences and also perhaps offering some helpful thoughts if I can.
I've always been a fairly anxious person by nature but about 6 years ago something (and I've no idea what) triggered the start of fairly severe general anxiety. It has at times tended to cling to thoughts about my health (e.g. with each new partner I felt needed to get blood tests to assure myself they had not given me an STD) and persistently to thoughts that I have somehow inadvertently breached rules e.g. running red lights, speeding or filling out forms incorrectly - when I know this is not the case. My anxiety basically clings to anything it wants to.
It got to a point where anxiety had total control over my life. Whenever I drove my car, I had to sit down afterwards and travel over the route in my head to picture each intersection and speed sign to satisfy myself that I had complied with all the road rules along the way. On multiple occasions I had to drive back to where I thought I might not have noticed exceeding the speed limit to reassess the conditions. This sometimes involved standing on the footpath at an intersection and observing a few rounds of green lights to see what everyone else on the road was doing. There was no room in my mind for normal thoughts to come and go because my mind was occupied around the clock with very worrying thoughts about "what ifs" and total dread.
I Decided to tell my parents and take a week or so off work. I had never taken even a single day of sick leave in my life. My parents also helped me to get back in touch with a GP who I really clicked with in the past. Over the last few years I have tried various different approaches to getting back on track and not all have worked well for me - it's been a whole lot of trial and error. But now I can honestly say that I've found the right thing for me - at least for now 🙂 and have been really well for some time now. My relationships with family have gone back to how they were - and beyond - and I have even kept a relationship for a couple of years now. I can make decisions and am astounded at how quiet things are without those noisy thoughts circling around in my head - such peace and quiet!
I know I'll continually have to work on staying worry free, but it's so worth it. I suffered in silence for so long and my only regret is that I didn't embrace life earlier. I wouldn't wish anxiety disorders upon anyone.
best wishes!
