I'm back again after two years

[Adrian2014]

After a period of relative stability in keeping my general anxiety under control, it's back with a vengeance. I was living in Australia when I first joined this forum, and received some great support in that time I needed it. Since then, I have moved back to the UK, quit the career which was causing stress and felt much better for it.

After 8 months of being back here I met the girl of my dreams, and we were together four months before last weekend she decided we should split up. It came completely out the blue. She has her own issues she needs to work through. Since I got the bad news on saturday, I've hit rock bottom. I wake up, and at 8am I drink wine to make me feel better. I drink a fair amount each day, just enough to keep me mellowed, not drinking to get completely drunk. It's not a normal reaction and my coping mechanism is a disaster. I have barely eaten for 3 days, my stomach is in bits, and I'm full of worry / dread. Constantly feel like I'm going to lose my mind and have a breakdown, yet I never actually do. I'm functioning whilst under the influence of alcohol all day and none of my family or friends realise. I went to my GP this morning and he prescribed me sleeping tablets to assist with my bad sleep and beta blockers to help with the panic, both of which I've used in the last few years. The irony is my girlfriend thinks we should potentially give it another go, but that has still not made me feel better. The thing is, whilst I think my break up has triggered it, my anxiety problem has always been their in the background and I need to get to the cause of it. Why am I so susceptible to bad news like this? It seems I can't cope with stress.

[BballJ]

Hi Adrian,

Welcome back to the forums.

I guess like anyone suffering anxiety, any crappy situation or bad news we receive triggers it. Break ups are a massive cause for anxiety and depression.. many people probably don't know they have anxiety until something like that happens. I don't know if we ever fully get rid of anxiety but as you said we keep it under control, unfortunately triggers are a big part of it and working out the triggers are the hardest. Have you ever sat down with a psychologist to work through your anxiety issues. I finally did this year after many many years of having anxiety and am finally working out my cause (Unresolved family issues) but I feel so much better for it.

I think the main thing to point out here is that you aren't alone with your symptoms.. no really handles stress well.. people can fake it and hide it but most I would think cannot deal with it but they have ways to release the stress (Gym, movies, music, eating). It's great news your partner wants to give it another shot but I have a feeling your anxiety isn't allowing you to feel better purely because in the back of your mind you are worried about it not working out. I may be wrong but just my thought. The drinking is something you need to try to bring under control just because it isn't healthy. Again that is another thing to see a psychologist about. I'm not sure how it works in the UK with government funding but hopefully there is a way to get the help you need.

Always here to talk if needed.

My best for you,

Jay

[CMF]

Hi Adrian,

Sorry to hear you've had to go through this heartache and now anxiety again. Jay is spot on with his post, he sums things up perfectly re triggers. I don't have a lot to add at the moment but yeah, break ups suck. Seeing as she wants to give it another shot did she give a reason for the breakup? May be good to know why.

ive found with bad anxiety that en when I remove the stressor I still feel anxious for a period of time afterwards. It takes time for our minds to accept the things threat has gone and feel "normal" again.

i hope you are able to get through this and find happiness again. Look forwRd to hearing back from you.

cmf