I keep messing up at work and I constantly self sabotage

[M3758]

Hey there 😊

I've recently made a pretty big mistake at work by not submitting a report I knew was supposed to, I avoided it and hoped it would work out and now the consequences of that have effected a client receiving what they need.

I have been making little mistakes constantly but at the time i make them, I don't feel bad, it's only after that I feel guilty. My manager has already put things in place to support me but I just don't think I'm cut out for the role. I'm super embarrassed about how bad I've let it become by not doing what I am supposed and I'm extremely anxious to discuss it with my boss Monday.

The big mistake can be corrected and I would like to fix it but I feel like I will be fired. I am looking for other jobs and I guess I'm looking for tips to come to terms with that I've stuffed up.

[Petal22]

Hi M3758,

I understand all of the feelings that you just described……. I also had these……….

Id do something at work that would worry me, I’d go home on a Friday and spend the remainder of the weekend worrying about it…….. I’d often have this reaction with a lot of things in my life………. It came to a point in my life that this worrying became severe………. I was always highly anxious…..

I went to my gp and explained my symptoms my gp advised I had anxiety we did a mental health plan together this enabled me to see a clinical psychologist and psychiatrist I was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder…. This then led me to a 8 week therapy at a clinic that specialised in OCD…… I learned to master my OCD…. I’m now recovered…..

By seeing your gp and psychologist you will be given many strategies to help you to deal with what you are going through….

I have written two threads you may be interested in reading

Someone who had OCD and recovered

and

Effective treatment for OCD Metacognitive therapy

Im here to chat

[Goldwing03]

That's good. Well done for getting help. Proud of you 🙂

[geoff]

Hello M3758, try not to believe that you will lose face that will affect your reputation, doesn't that happen when we are thinking in a negative way, yes it happens many times when we feel locked in a corner and that's when we don't pick up on any positive comments because the negative ones take control.

Now try and walk away from this situation, have some chocolate with your mum to change your mood and then approach this in a different way, there are always 2 sides to a story.

Geoff.

[Nervybella]

Hey M3758

i hope your day was ok today! Did you end up speaking to your boss?
Something I have found useful in the past is speaking to a trusted colleague who may not be your direct manager - maybe a HR rep.. you will know who is appropriate.

please keep in touch, you have access to a wonderful community here that are always happy to lend an ear 🙂

Best

bella x

[M3758]

Hi there 🤗

Thought I'd give you guys a little update.

So I called the person I was meant to send the report to and explained where I had gone wrong and it turned out to be quite a quick and easy fix.She was super understanding and said it happens all the time.

I also called my client and explained my mistake and they also were very understanding and were happy to wait for me to rectify it.

Due the quick and streamlined way it could be fixed, I didn't actually have to notify my boss of my mistake and should be sorted by the end of the week and I can finally breathe.

Even though I was able to rectify the mistake, I still made an appointment for this Friday to speak to my GP about some mental health support and copying strategies, i also reached out to a colleague who was previously in my role for some advice on stress and that was very helpful.

I've decided that I need to make an exit plan from this job within the next 3 to 5 months once I have something else in place. I don't love the job and i would like to be in a more hands on role.

I would also just like to say a big thank you to everyone who commented and offered advice and kind words. This is such a great platform and accepting community.

Hope yous are all staying safe.

❤ M

[Petal22]

Hi M3758,

Thats great!

Well done also for making your appointment with your gp, I think by yourself doing a mental health plan and seeing a psychologist will really help you in the future….. it will help you to deal with your thoughts in a positive way 😊

Always happy to help you and support you anytime in this community 😊

Wishing you all the best