I keep messing up at work and I constantly self sabotage

[M3758]

Hey there 😊

I've recently made a pretty big mistake at work by not submitting a report I knew was supposed to, I avoided it and hoped it would work out and now the consequences of that have effected a client receiving what they need.

I have been making little mistakes constantly but at the time i make them, I don't feel bad, it's only after that I feel guilty. My manager has already put things in place to support me but I just don't think I'm cut out for the role. I'm super embarrassed about how bad I've let it become by not doing what I am supposed and I'm extremely anxious to discuss it with my boss Monday.

The big mistake can be corrected and I would like to fix it but I feel like I will be fired. I am looking for other jobs and I guess I'm looking for tips to come to terms with that I've stuffed up.

[Petal22]

Hi M3758,

Wellcome to our forums!

Sorry you are feeling this way.

I think it’s great that your manager is putting things in place to help you, managers can be very understanding in regards to mistakes and the way you are feeling….. just be open and honest with your manager….

As you said the mistake can be corrected….. it may not be as big to your manager as it is to you….

We learn and grow from our mistakes try not to be embarrassed by them because it can teach you something which is invaluable..

If your anxiety is causing you distress and effecting your life you can see your gp you can do a mental health plan together this will enable you to see a psychologist.

Im here to chat

[Croix]

Dear M3758~

I'd like to join Petal22 in welcoming you and reinforcing what was said, it's true we all make mistakes, some trivial, some larger. It's part of being human and yes - we can learn from them.

There are obvious things like not hurrying or trying to do to many things at ones, using a calculator or spreadsheet rather then mental arithmetic -and so on.

it can go further and seeking advice about a particular problem (as you are doing here).

I suppose I'd like to ask two questions if you did not mind.

The first is pretty obvious, is there some sort of reason why you make these mistakes? Overwork or a physical thing like a crowded noisy office or a mental thing hard concepts to grasp?

The other question is about your thread title were you imply you self-sabotage. Do you really think you go out of your way to make yourself look bad or perform badly, or was that just a throw-away phrase?

I remember as I became more and more anxious at work I'd make more and more mistakes - ironic really, I tried harder and harder, and ended up making things worse and worse. I even got to the stage where I'd spend so long getting one task perfect I'd simply not do others due pt lack of time.

I would like it if you came back and said what you thought.

Croix

[Goldwing03]

Dear Croix!

I totally understand your concern. Making mistakes is not the best feeling. It's important to figure out where you are going wrong and try to utilize the support systems that your manager has provided. It may be that you are making mistakes because you are anxious and stressed. If this is the case, make sure you talk a GP or somebody else that you can trust, and they may help you cope.

Well done for reaching out 🙂

[geoff]

Hello M3758, OK today's Sunday, so write down on some paper why you made your choice, you know that this can be rectified, so you have every right to tell your boss why you hadn't submitted the report and you are entitled to do this, especially as 'he has already put things in place to support me'.

Everyone has a right to explain their actions and as he has supported you, he still wants you to stay, you might give him better ideas of why and how you did this.

Geoff.

[M3758]

Hi Petal,

Thank you for the welcome. This is such a great way to get advice from people which no judgement and from people who experience the same feelings as I am.

I realised my mistake at 3pm Friday and drove myself sick to the point where I had constant hot flushes, racing heart and could not think of everything. This continued until 3:30am and that's when I decided to call the hotline Friday night and spoke to man about it which soothed my thought enough for me to get a few hours sleep.

This kind of reaction happens alot when something bad comes up and I feel like it's not a normal reaction.

I did spend all weekend trying to distract myself, I watched endless movies to escape my thoughts but it only lasts for a little while and I'm back to that pressure in my neck, throat and chest and the hot flushes are back.

Yes will do, I am going to call my GP to book in to see a counsellor because I tired of feeling overwhelmed.

[M3758]

Hi Croix,
Thank you for the welcome.

It's been a crazy year so far, I started this job in February and it's nothing like a thought it was going to be. We've had a system change, a management change, KPI's introduced and 2 people up and quit which has put alot of pressure on the remaining people in our office. I find the change of system and management has put alot of pressure on us to only meet KPI's and has switched the focus from working for the people with disabilities to working for a just profit.

I also have come from an education background so the shift from face to face with people to an office has been hard and the main supports I had in this role, one quit and the other has gone on prac until the end of September.

As for the self sabotaging, I've done it my whole life

• Late to school everyday since I can remember, Late to events and Late to work
• Procrastinate all the time/putting things off until the last minute or that I need to do
• Never really finish a project
• Say I'll do something and don't
• And "forget" all the time.

I always feel guilty and terrible about myself yet I continue to do it all the time and it's exhausting.

[M3758]

Hi Goldwing

Thanks for the kind words. Yes I do believe that's what is going on. I have thought about getting professional hp for a while to talk about how stressed I am but like always I put everything off until it snowballs into a big hot mess.

Calling my GP for real this time though for Drs App and referral to a GP.

[M3758]

Hi Geoff,

You're right. I did write down what I am going to say and how it got to this point. I know I can fix it but I will lose face and trust with some allied health in my field and I know it will effect my reputation and my ability to the job and that makes me sick to my stomach.

I will say but that I did come to my mums and spent some time with her which made me feel better. Due to this lockdown I am I can only leave the house for essential things however me and my mum are both in a single bubble so I can see her. It was good to have some human connection and cuddle.

[Croix]

Dear M3758~

I really do hope you make a start wiht a GP quickly. Geoff's idea of writing things down and sharing the paper is an excellent one I've used myself - plus you have time first to get thngs down exactly right.

I could never improve myself by myself, it took outside help to do that . From your list of things it looks, like me, you have a fair bit to 'unlearn' as it were about yourself and medical help is the way I found works.

Seeking help many years ago seemed to be a weakness, which peple who need it being regarded as weak or less competent.

That has changed, for any knowledgeable peron seeing another seek help is a sign they have intelligent and effective coping abilities - a strenght.

Please let us know how you go.

Croix