I have a long flight coming up at the end of January and the anticipatory anxiety is killing me

[Frantic1]

Hi everyone,

i am new to to the forum but certainly not new to anxiety. I have had anxiety since I can remember. I am scared of everything at the moment. It has all come about since confronting my fear of flying in September. I have been exposing myself to flying in the hope it will eventually ease. I have flown 6 times and it seems to be getting worse, not better. I have a long flight coming up at the end of January and the anticipatory anxiety is killing me. I am anxious from the moment I wake up in the morning until the moment I fall asleep. I went and saw my GP today who has now referred me to a psychiatrist. I finally told my husband how bad my anxiety was and although sympathetic he doesn't really get it. I just feel so alone most of the time and can't stop crying.

Frantic1

[Hope_for_the_best]

Hi Frantic1, I can totally relate to your fear of flying. Although I am a frequent flyer who flies at least 2 long haul flights each year, I still fear flying to a certain extent. In particular, during take off and when turbulence hits. Back then, I was too scared to take a window seat to see the plane leave the ground, until I was forced on one on a full flight. Surprisingly, that eased my fear dramatically, because I was distracted by the great view of a city above the sky. Since then, I always ask for a window seat. I also do slow belly breathing while listening to music, and tell myself that the take off will be over in 5 min, which is often the case. I pretty much do the same when turbulence hits. Of course, turbulence may last longer. If so, I keep repeating to myself that "Turbulence is uncomfortable but not dangerous. I am okay. It will end eventually". Also, due to a bad memory of my classmate who claimed to be not susceptible to motion sickness and yet suddenly threw up everywhere on a car trip (I sat next to him!), I do fear sitting in close proximity to someone who gets airsick. I was fortunate enough to not encounter one until I flew back to Australia a few days ago. That was a rather turbulent flight, and I coped very well the whole time. Right before landing, someone on my row used an airsick bag. I could hear it even though he was a few seats on my left. I was shocked and freaked out, but thankfully a good fellow passenger passed him another bag from the empty seat next to me. I frantically plugged my ear phone and the headphone onboard. I turned on the music as loud as possible, while telling myself that I was okay and the plane would land soon. I am glad that I made it! I thought I would get panic and make a fool of myself!

In my opinion, it is unrealistic to see significant progress with only 6 flights. I have done way more flights before I get to where I am now. Don't beat yourself up and keep trying! Believe in yourself that you will make it one day.

[Chicken_Wings]

Hi Frantic,

I understand exactly how you’re feeling! Scared of flying and I just took a trip to England.

im glad to read you’ve got some help. If you’re looking for any more insights, here are some things I’ve learnt on my travels.

1. Get the right seat. I like to be able to get up and move around if I’m anxious so an isle seat is always my preference. Even better if you can get bulkheads.

2. Talk to the crew. My stepdad makes the manuals they use and helping anxious people is all in there. They are well trained and know what to do. Even sometimes just telling them relieves the pressure of having to hold it together.

3. Take plenty to do. Magazines, books, even take some time to look up which movies are on and get excited about the binge watching you can do.

4. Take an eye mask and if you have them, noise cancelling headphones.

5. Some airlines have headspace as one of the opions on their inflight entertaininment. Even if they don’t, the free version of the app includes a meditation to do before you fly that’s all about flying! Even better if you can use something like this to get to sleep.

7. Take medication just in case. I didn’t use it in the end, but have something in my bag was helpful.

I nearly cancelled my flight the night before, but by the time I got to the airport I was calmer. Once the flight starts people are moving about, meal service is happening, movies are playing etc