I feel so scared all the time.

[Jmk22]

Hi everyone,

this is my first post on here.

I was just wanting to get somethings out of my head and see if anyone could help or share their experience with me.

I have generalised anxiety and I feel like there’s a bit of depression there as well.

Lately I have become obsessed when it comes to my health. I always think something is wrong all the time.

The latest thing is my teeth. Going to the dentist was such a massive fear for me there was a point I didn’t go for about 10 years. I finally talked myself into going as anxious as it did make me.

That was last year. The dentist was so nice and understanding about my anxiety. I got a deep clean and found out I needed just one filling. Nothing was said about my wisdom teeth. I went back again in 2 months for another clean but had to see another dentist he basically told me just to get my wisdom teeth out to stop anything happening. 3 months went by and I finally worked myself up to get my filling. Yet another dentist I had to see. She could see a wisdom tooth on my X-ray but said you’ll have to get that out on day but not today. Then unexpectedly I had to go back because I was having a little pain (nowhere need my wisdom tooth) yet another dentist and she took a full face X-ray and is now telling me I need all 4 out under sedation. I’ve never had an operation so this is scary to me.

I can tell you petrified doesn’t even cover this. After coming home I basically spent the rest of the day crying and panicking to the point I tired myself out so much I feel asleep.

I know wisdom teeth aren’t always good. I was just wanting to hear others stories with them.

My top two are through and fine. My bottom right is sideways but fully understand the gum. My left is sideways and poking a small amount through my gum but it has been that way for years (I check my mouth with a dental mirror I’m that obsessive) it’s not causing pain none of them are. Its at the point I’m driving my partner insane constantly asking questions or if he thinks my face looks puffy.

We have an overseas trip planned for two weeks time and I’m worried my teeth and my anxiety are going to ruin it by either not being able to go or something wrong happening while we’re away.

any advice would be helpful.

I’m slowly driving myself insane.

[YellowPoppy]

Hey, I'm not a professional so I'm just offering support and comfort.
I am so sorry you're having a crap experience with this.

I hope posting it here has helped you feel a bit better and I hope it turns out okay.

Sorry I couldn't give you more help

YellowPoppy

[Guest_342]

Dear Jmk22,

I can relate to this obsessive feeling about health. I’ve never had the issue concerning my teeth but I have gone through phases having obsessive, intrusive and irrational fear about other health things that never eventuated.

Thankfully I have not been in this cycle of fear for some time now, with the help of my GP. By telling you this, I’m not necessarily saying you shouldn’t take reasonable measures to take care of your physical health (as you know your body best, and what is normal, and I’m not a doctor) but I am trying to comfort you that this can sometimes be a habit we get into and if the anxiety is not feeding off one worry, it’s feeding off another worry. What i have found useful is to chat openly to my GP about these worries and to get tips from her about when I should worry about particular symptoms. Your GP might also suggest how you both can tackle your cycle of worries. Life should be enjoyed - so I hope you can feel willing to explore solutions with your GP.

Also, I wanted to add - big congratulations on only needing one filling after 10 years 🙂 That’s an awesome effort! If you go a little more frequently, eg each year, I reckon the anxiety each time will be less 🙂 Just remember, if your dentist does happen to find something needing treatment, you have not done anything wrong 🙂 - to the contrary.

Wisdom teeth are a part of life for most people, and some of us need to get them removed. But if you are extremely scared about the prospect of the anaesthetic and extraction, why not tell your original dentist your worries and see if he or she can suggestion other options that may be available to you?

It’s so great that you’ve reached out here.

Very best wishes and big hugs.

Gelati

[Jmk22]

Thank you so much for replying.

I think I do need to have a chat with my GP about it. It’s becoming really bad and starting to take over my day to day life.

I’m getting a second opinion on my teeth tomorrow so hopefully that will help with things.

Its not just my teeth that have been a trigger point for me. It’s my health in general. I feel a slight pain and I’m straight onto Dr Google which never helps anything, I just end up convincing myself I have some form of cancer.

I really appreciate you’re reply and advice. It helps me to feel better knowing I’m not the only one feeling like this.

xx

[Jmk22]

Thanks for replying. I honestly didn’t think anyone would.

I appreciate any support, when you’re scared and feeling alone that really helps.

🙂

xx

[Guest_342]

Oh I hear you 100 per cent - I have had times where I have e.g. a dull pain in my gut and I feel overly concerned I might have a tumour. I told my mum about this, and her advice was that in most cases it will be nothing sinister and to just give it a few days to see if it goes away - and it always has. I have also had phases where I excessively request blood tests to get peace of mind that I don’t have an infectious disease.

I think the reality, though, is that we all to an extent have to live life with many unknowns. It’s exhausting if we have to know everything and have absolute certainty about everything. Life is a bit mysterious :)))

Maybe a good test is, if this thought faced my partner about his own health, how would he approach it? I’m so envious of people who can be more laid back than I am - I think with people like you and me, we can potentially be like that (more relaxed like others are) but it might take a little more work than for those to whom it comes a little more naturally. We’re just wired a certain way, and it doesn’t necessarily mean we are flawed. We are just very observant and caring and it can be overwhelming sometimes huh? 🙂

Dr Google is something that I have forced myself to avoid, and have made sure to substitute that completely with the professional advice of my GP, who actually can take into account my personal circumstances (which Google cannot).

Recovery and then maintaining my wellbeing has seemed hard work at times and I had a few little set backs. Sometimes I find stress triggers little set backs. But seeking professional help was the best thing I have ever done for myself - it’s not admitting defeat or anything to be embarrassed about, but is courageous. These kinds of difficulties are so common and there is help available in many forms.

Your holiday is fairly soon. Maybe you could ask your GP for some tips in managing the anxiety in case it happens while away? Also, have you tried the Smiling Mind app?

All the very best x

[Jmk22]

Sorry for the lateness of my reply, I've had a full on weekend.

I defiantly need to learn to stay away from Dr Google, defiantly not my friend at all.
If I reacted the way my partner did to his aches and pains life would be a little easier lol
It takes a lot for it to bother him or to take a trip to the GP.

I ended up going to get a second opinion about my wisdom teeth as it was bothering me so much. A few family members suggested the second opinion as well.
This dentist was simply AMAZING! I told him all my concerns etc. He looked over my wisdom teeth and did x-rays. He couldn't see anything wrong with them at all. He couldn't justify a reason to take them out at all unless a problem arises in the future that changes things. He told me he would prefer I keep them if possible.
You have no idea how good it felt to be so reassured like that after such a horrible, anxiety triggering experience.

Yes my trip is coming up extremely soon which brings a whole new set of anxieties with it. I've never left the country, been on a plane or been that far away from home before. I will be with my partner and a group of friends so I'm hoping that will ease things a bit but I know the anxiety is still going to be there.

No, I haven't hear about that app before. Could you tell me a little about it?

xx

[sometimesanxious]

I am sorry you are having such a rough time of late. Health anxiety really is the pits.

when my health anxiety is really bad I try to remind myself that my thoughts don’t control me and that they aren’t necessarily always true. It’s only when we attach ourselves to a thought and run with it that our anxiety spirals out of control.

when I start to have thoughts that I don’t like I imagine them like an internet browser in my brain and swipe away all the thoughts I don’t want to have. So far this has really been working for me.

I hope that you find some relief from your anxiety and enjoy your trip.

[Guest_342]

The Smiling Mind app has lots of mindfulness meditations you can do. It was introduced to me when we had a session at a work conference - taking 5 or so mins every now and then e.g. on the train or before bed works for some people to focus on the here and now. Meditation is not for everyone, but I thought I’d mention it 🙂

Oh I almost felt the relief myself when you mentioned how your dentist approached the situation. What a lovely person they must be! Great work, Jmk22!

Wishing you a safe and happy trip. I know that our airline pilots and staff are trained to very high standards so I always have confidence in my safety if I travel. Maybe let your partner know you’re feeling a little anxious about the holiday and he might be extra careful to ensure you’re doing ok along the way 🙂

I’d live to hear how your experience was when you return home 🙂 Xx

ps - I loved sometimesanxious’ suggestion to swipe thoughts out of mind - I imagined a tinder profile that you swipe away heheh 😛

[Jmk22]

Oh awesome I’ll definitely give the app ago. I’m always willing to give anything ago to see if it will help.

I was so relieved as well when I seen the second dentist but now it’s been a few days I keep thinking I’m feeling something in my mouth like something is wrong. I know it’s probably all my anxiety and in my head but it’s still getting to me a bit.

I’m trying to keep myself as busy as possible before we leave so I don’t have too much time to think about things. My husband knows how scared I am about going but he’s been out of the country before so he has a pretty relaxed attitude about the whole thing. My mind tends to go to the worst thing that can happen. What if the plane crashes? What if something bad medically happens to any of us while we’re gone? What if we need to get home quick? I’ve wanted to do this trip for so long I’m hoping I’ll be alright once I’m there.

I’ll definitely let you know how things went once I get back. It might be a long 13 days but let’s hope not.