i feel like my anxiety has been getting worse

_blank · ‎20-07-2021

I feel like my anxiety is just progressively getting worse. I really don't know what to do except try to cope with it by typing about it. I feel like every time i am feeling any sort of emotion it causes me to overthink. Overthinking is all i seem to do and i have no idea how to distract myself from it. I wish i could just stop but it feels like i am stuck in a vicious cycle where one thought leads to another and i am just left upset. My main worry at the moment is about my girlfriend who suffers from depression and anxiety like me. Due to circumstances we have had to make our relationship long distance and now she is on the opposite side of the world. I love her so much and i honestly don't know what i would do without her. I feel so distant from her and it just feels like i can't protect her, it's just so far outside of my control. I want to be there for her but the only way I can be is through words. I am just really not sure how i am meant to show her that i love her. I am mainly scared of her leaving me, from what my friends have told me and put into my head is that the long distance relationship is a bad idea. They don't understand how much i love her and how much she means to me, they think that she will leave me the first chance she gets and won't even tell me. I have a lot of trust in her but frankly it is really hard to block out their input because it means a lot to me. I feel like it is some sort or warning but i just don't want it to be, i love her and i don't want to breakup with her but i feel like i also want to protect myself. I am really hoping that it gets easier for me to live with the fact that I can't physically be with her but for right now it just scares me and makes me really nervous and anxious. In the past she has also tried to self harm, this scares me because i don't want her to try again. The experience I had with this situation was really terrible and I honestly didn't know how to cope with it, it just hurts so much seeing someone i love so much go through these things. I have tried my best to pinpoint the cause of my anxiety lately outside the basic things like school that are always sort of there. I just feel like it's getting worse and harder to cope, it just puts me in a depressive state which i hate being in.

Sophie_M · ‎20-07-2021

Hi _blank,

We're really sorry to hear about everything thats going on for you. The long distance relationship sounds really challenging, and it must be really hard to go through all that, especially when living with anxiety and depression.

Please know that you are not alone, we are here to support you and you can call us any time of day or night on 1300 22 4636. You could also call Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, or use their live chat if you'd prefer: https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling/

We are so glad you are able to share with our community, who will be able to offer support and advice.

Thank you so much for your bravery in sharing. You never know how what you have written might help someone in a similiar situation. Please feel free to check back in and let us know how you're going.

Kind regards,
Sophie M

Megzt84 · ‎20-07-2021

Hi _blank,

I’m sorry that you’re going through a hard time. I also struggle with overthinking at times. It definitely doesn’t help a situation.

On the subject of writing things down, journaling can actually be really helpful to some people. I find that if I have a lot on my mind it does help to write everything down in a journal , just for myself.

Also in regards to your long distance relationship this would be a difficult situation. Getting advise from friends is always important but just remember that they don’t always know everything that is going on. Only you and your girlfriend know this. All you can do at this time is keep in contact with your girlfriend and be open and honest with her. Also just check in to see how she is feeling if you’re worried. Maybe you could send her something to remind her that you’re thinking of her?

Dont forget to look after yourself and try and do little things that make you happy

_blank · ‎21-07-2021

hey megzt84,

thank you for taking time out of your day to respond to me it really means a lot. overthinking is a very common thing for me, i overthink every decision i make in a way that i view it as a 'life or death' situation. it tears me down mentally but i always work and try my best to get back up and rebuild myself. I find journalling very helpful at just letting out my feelings on this forum, because no ones knows who you are and no one judges you.

yes i agree, my friends don't know everything that is going on, but i feel like in a way they may know something that i don't. i am working towards becoming more open and honest with her but that is another thing i struggle with. i don't exactly feel comfortable telling people i know about things because of my trust issues, i never really trust anything anyone says which plays back into my overthinking. I check in with my girlfriend all the time but even when she is feeling sad or upset she doesn't tell me, even when she tried to take her own life she didn't tell me that she was feeling off or upset that night and then i just woke up to no response which leaded to me texting her sister to understand what was happening. I am putting together a package that i am going to send her but even little things like that cause me to overthink, like what if it gets lost in shipping or what if it doesn't get there safely? i know i shouldn't be worried about little things like that but i've found myself procrastinating and putting off sending it to her.

I hope you are having an amazing day and I am so glad to have someone respond to my post, it means a lot, thank you :).

cheers, blank

Megzt84 · ‎22-07-2021

Hi _blank,

No problem 🙂

Also trying to deal with all of this during a pandemic makes it even more difficult. I feel like everyone’s anxiety is much worse and harder to deal with during this time.

Sounds like you are doing things to try to help yourself which is great.

Sometimes speaking to a professional can help as well and I know taking that first step can be really hard. You could always start by talking to your GP and they might be able to set up a plan for you.

As for your girlfriend, unfortunately some people don’t share when they’re really down as they don’t want to burden anyone. You can only do what you’re doing already by being there for her.

Take care