I made a post somewhere a few weeks ago about considering nursing as a career.
After deep consideration, I don't think night shift work would be good for managing my depression and anxiety.
I am very sleep sensitive. Plus I am not keen on other things that come with the job of nursing.
I have also had teaching in mind for a while, I almost enrolled over a year ago.
After talking to teachers I know I am very keen to pursue this career. I will need to go back to uni obviously.
I just worry that my mental health will prevent me from being able to fulfill my studies in a teaching degree.
Will I be suitable to teach after graduating?
I am filled with fear, doubt and uncertainty.
Every job I have considered I see myself as not suitable, I feel like a loser, a failure, a basket case.
A voice in my head tells me I cannot do that job and I picture family members laughing at me for considering such jobs such as when I considered becoming a police officer (I was rejected in the recruitment process due to my mental health history).
My mum laughed when I told her I wanted to be a police officer. I can only imagine what my sister was saying behind my back as she sees me as a weak little mouse.
My sister is a teacher and she has often told me such and such career is not for me as I am too shy, not confident enough, a mute, can't shake hands firmly. When I was studying marketing she put me down and caused me to cry.
I feel like the biggest useless thing in the world, a joke, what am I good for? Being a cleaner in a shopping centre?
I've tried a trade (electrician) and had my dad and brother in law say that isn't for me as I am not a physical type, I dropped out of a pre apprenticeship course in tafe as I realised I was struggling compared to others.
I was too weak, shy, not confident for real estate, got bullied then fired for not gelling with the team.
I was too slow and clumsy, uncoordinated to be a cafe worker, I worked as a waiter and kept getting told off for being slow but I couldn't go any faster, and I spilled drinks as I couldn't balance them on the tray as I served, so embarrassing to smash glasses and spill drinks on customer's tables. I got fired in the end after not managing to pick up the pace.
I often struggled in the corporate world, I didn't know what I was doing and got treated like crap when approaching others as part of my job.
I just feel like I am not fit to work in any job that I am meant to be an unemployed welfare recipient for life.
