I Don’t Like My Face

[PsychedelicFur]

Hello,

I don’t like my face. And I keep wearing my mask in public because I don’t like my face. I’m scared that I have a double chin, wide nose, uneven-messy eyebrows, dark circles under my eyes and puppet mouth wrinkles.

people ask me ALL of the time to stop wearing my face mask. However, it has been my only comfort thing for SO LONG now. I feel lost without it and I strongly believe people treat me badly because my looks are not deemed ‘desirable’

How can I become more confident?

PF

[Maddeline]

Hi PsychedelicFur,

Thank you for commenting. I think it is now a common thing to find comfort in our face masks as we can hide our face with a reason. We are often over critical of ourselves and our appearances, because today it is something that is incorrectly highly valued. A possible way to begin to feel more confident would be to ease your way out of the mask. Maybe starting off with close family or friends and not wearing a mask, to gradually taking the mask off around acquaintances (if you are allowed to in a public setting). Also, writing down or telling yourself three things you like about yourself (does not have to be appearance related), may help with building confidence.

Try to remember, that people have seen and have enjoyed your company previous to the face mask era. A lot of the time, we are harder on ourselves than we need to be, and the little things we find to be huge, often go unnoticed by those around us.

At the end of the day, it is your choice to wear a mask, and it is completely up to you to do what makes you comfortable.

Hope to hear from you! x

[jaz28]

Hi PsychedelicFur,

I have definitely found myself feeling similar! I have found comfort in my mask covering up my facial expressions and acne (that is made worse by the mask, sigh) that I feel naked without it. Here in SA, they are still mandatory, but I feel like when we are not required to wear them anymore I will feel the same.

Just wanted to pop on and let you know you aren't alone in the feeling. How did people treat you pre-pandemic? Is it the same? Just trying to understand. AND, if people only liked you for your looks...you don't need them anyway. Real people like you for you. Do what makes you feel comfortable, mask on or off...

Hope things improve,

Jaz.

[tranzcrybe]

Not much to add here except that all books have covers... and the most tatty and disheveled are testament to the story contained therein. Embrace your inner story.

Then again, if your observations were correct, surely people would ask you ALL of the time to keep it on?

[PsychedelicFur]

My nose is too wide. My eyebrows are too hairy. I just don’t like my face.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear PsychedelicFur...

I am so sorry that you do not like your face....I think a lot of people do not like their own face, skin, body etc..I am one of them.,,,,I have inherited dark circles around my eyes, that make my eyes look like they are sinking into my face, that’s not the only flaw I have on my face..I have several more...

You have probably heard many people say that beauty is not on the outside but on the inside...and believe me this is so true...

We are our own worse critics and judges about how we look...Does it really matter how we look....to me it doesn’t matter what another person looks like....If they have a caring heart and soul...if they are breathing...they are beautiful people....

If you met someone with ...lets say (face deformities) and they said hello and start a conversation with you....would you walk away because you thought there face wasn’t pretty?...or would you be your beautiful self and return their morning greeting, have a conversation with them...and befriend them, would their appearance make them any less then anyone else....definitely not...

Beauty comes from words, from a person’s heart and soul...not from the package that encases who we really are....our skin, or our looks doesn’t talk for us, our true self which is our soul is what most people need to like and trust...Not our looks..

Embrace yourself Psychedelic Fur...you have so much beauty in your soul...and it’s released through your words...and it’s through your words that true friends that care about you are made....

When you look into a mirror...Please lovely lady...look deeper inside you...not just the outer covering...and everyone has very different and unique outer covering (skin)...

My kindest thoughts with a warm hug dear PsychedelicFur.

Grandy..

[PsychedelicFur]

Hello everyone,
recently I went on a picnic with a few friends of mine. The day was almost perfect. The blazing mid afternoon sun was beautiful. The fruit was ripe and the wild berry kumbucha was refreshing too.
Although, one of my friends made me feel so horrible. When I was explaining to my other friend that my ex partner would constantly body shame me and tell me how ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ I was - my toxic “friend” began to laugh.
This “friend” was also the one who body shamed me in year eleven back at school. Calling a character that I was playing in a short school film a ‘fat sl*t’
And whilst we were waiting for our other friend to come to the picnic this “friend” was shocked when I told them that I wasn’t in plus size clothing. Even though I was told by doctors and everyone else around me that I am a healthy and reasonable weight.
I suffer from body dysmorphia due to my mother and my ex partner picking on my weight constantly.

This “friend” knows that I have struggled with things in the past. When they called me a ‘fat sl*t” as a “joke” in school they apologised and the apology did genuinely seem sincere. I told them that I have some form of eating disorder and I thought they were understanding towards my struggles. That seemed somewhat understanding in the messages. Now, I am having second thoughts two years later though.
And ever since yesterday’s conundrum I am absolutely reconsidering their position in my life. Because they just seem untrustworthy, unauthentic and inconsiderate towards me. I don’t know how to tell them I don’t want to be their friend anymore.
PF

[Maddeline]

Hi PsychedelicFur,

I am sorry that you are being shamed about something that you should be encouraged by. As a person with a curvier body and constantly self conscious about my weight, I can understand how hurtful those comments can be. Everyones body types are different, and it is definitely not something someone should be commenting on - especially when you have asked them to not make those remarks. By surrounding yourself with positive people who admire you no matter your appearance, and distancing yourself from those who say hurtful names would be beneficial for your mental health. I am happy that you have come to this realisation and have the respect for yourself to realise the worth of friendship you deserve. The best way to approach these situations would be to speak one on one with the friend. By speaking to her privately and calmly it will help settle the situation. You could possibly just be honest as to why you want to distance yourself for an amount of time.

- Hope this helps and would love to hear from you x