Welcome. I am very sorry for the way you are feeling. Sometimes writing it out on the forum can help clarify where things are at and clears the mind - hopefully.
I would ask how much of what you are going through is your wife aware of? I am not trying to be smart here, but it took a coffee and explanation from to let my wife know what I was going though. Admittedly, at that point I already seen a doctor and visiting a psych. Have you reached out to your wife asking for help? Admitting that you are not coping? I know that it is hard! The most important thing is communication. And if argument is affecting you negatively, you need to talk. (Admittedly, I dont know what the argument was about, but...) I also find these discussions better in a public place, as all parties then cannot argue or shout at each other.
Also note there are resources on the Beyond Blue web site for partners as well.
The thoughts that you expressed in the 2nd last pargraph, I would hope/think is what you mind is telling you. We tend to the make things much larger than they really are with anxiety.
Between now and your doctor appointment, you could try virtual hope box and relax melodies. these are 2 apps my psych. recommended to me to get, which I use. Helps to get the anxiety under control. Deep breathing also works but doing it very slowly. I put a post on the mindfulness thread here about that.
Going to the doctor is a smart move. Your doctor will be able to give you guidance for the next steps...
The road will be long, and it will seem like you have setbacks, but you like the rest of us here are on the same journey to find that little ray of sunshine. And if you need to speak with someone urgently there is always lifeline and related services as well as people at Beyond Blue.
Please come back, and let us know you how you are getting on.
