I can’t seem to control my anxiety

melltun · ‎22-09-2019

Hi there,

Nearly a month ago my bf at the time told me he didn’t feel the same towards me. A week later he departs for his trip overseas, two weeks in he is messaging me telling me he regrets it because he misses me a lot...

Since then he has been messaging me everyday as if nothing has happened however hasn’t said anything about getting back together. He tells me he’s confused.

Now I have been struggling with anxiety on and off for 5 years and for me when I hear bad news I really get to my lowest point. I was completely invested in our relationship and had fallen deep in love. To hear him say that his feelings have changed but for no legitimate reason mind you really crushed me. Till this day I’m still so confused and I constantly have anxiety about what’s going to happen.

i find it really hard to deal with as all my friends either have partners or are engaged so it becomes difficult to even go out with them to get my mind off it. I find myself going over and over thoughts in my head until I drive myself crazy. I take sleeping pills so I can fall asleep and not think of anything. But then I find myself waking up and feeling like crap about my life.

I do love him and I’m so afraid of loosing him but I just don’t know how to deal with any of my emotions.

I would really love some advice on this. Thank you

Matchy69 · ‎22-09-2019

After reading your post i felt we had some similarities.I to have anxiety issues and this cost me my relationship with the most amazing girl i ever met.I to had to take pills to make me sleep and wake up feeling like crap and those thoughts in my head going over and over are driving me crazy about what i should of done and then if i have a moment when i dont think about it i feel guilty.I dont eat very well,i lost 20kgs in weight,i need tablets to sleep.I talked to my daughter about what happen and she said you dont need someone to be happy and i am sweet caring man that deserves the right woman to make me happy.I am still struggling so much with losing this person and dont know how long it will take to move on from this person.

Think of yourself as an amazing person who deserves someone that understands you and treats you like your the only person in the world for them

Betternow · ‎23-09-2019

Hello there melltun

It really hurts when you are suddenly rejected by someone you love. Nothing that anyone can say will lessen your pain. You may find some small solace in the fact that millions of people worldwide are experiencing these same sad feelings right now.

Everybody deserves to be treated with respect and that fact he gave you no reason for wanting to quit the relationship shows a lack of character. Speaking as a man, this crap about being “confused” is not acceptable.

I realise you are suffering and anxious but I feel it is important that you draw a line in the sand. Don’t sell yourself cheaply. He needs to explain his position and plans for the two of you as a couple. This is the very least you should expect. If he can’t commit honestly to you, my advice would be to ignore him. In my experience people that have wishy washy attitudes towards relationships, will hurt you again.

melltun · ‎23-09-2019

Thanks for this. I know I don’t deserve this at all as I always gave him 110%. It’s just really hard to deal with as I had envisioned a future with him and thought he was “the one”.

I guess I thought this was it for me and I’m just so sick and tired of being put in this position. I give so much and get so little back.

Hes back from overseas today and will need to see what his intentions are because he’s confusing me.

He’s also 29 so I don’t understand why he would have commitment issues if that’s the reason?

melltun · ‎23-09-2019

I’m sorry to hear that. Thank you for your advice.