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I can’t get over my girlfriend and it’s been years

Tomyy
Community Member

It’s been a couple years since I’ve broken up with my girlfriend. Till this day I can’t get over her , I’ve tried hanging with friends , I’ve tried talking to over girls . I’m at breaking point , she’s the only person Ive ever gotten to know so deep and I can’t get over her, I can’t eat properly and have lost weight

4 Replies 4

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Tomyy, I'm sorry that a long last love is a person you still desire and affecting you adversely.

If you can't stop thinking of her then can you still contact her, because she might be feelin exactly the same as you, but you won't know unless you talk with her.

Geoff.

Life Member.

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Dear Tomyy,
 
Firstly, welcome to the forums we are so glad that you found your way to this supportive and welcoming community. We hope that you find ideas, options and support from the shared experiences and knowledge of all our members. This is a safe space to share and express your own feelings, struggles and experiences without judgement.


If you need more immediate contact, please use our support service either via phone 1300 22 4636 or web chat: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support

Regards

Sophie M

 

ecomama
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Dear Tomyy

 

Hugs. This kind of heart break is hard. There is no simple cure for this BUT there is a HUGE chance you'll be able to live life well, have lots of fun and even meet someone else down the track when you're ready. 

 

In the book by M.Scott Peck called "The Road Less Traveled", he talks about all the different kinds of love and attachment we may experience.
It's a FANTASTIC read and could help you put some things in a different way in your mind. Perhaps your local Library has a copy you can borrow? 

 

The term "unrequited love" comes to mind. When it boils down to it, we wouldn't want to keep a person tethered to us if they didn't truly want to be. That situation would be more toxic than any thing. 

 

Self care and the 180 strategy (you can search it online) are 2 of the best ways to move on from a relationship. 

 

Other than that, you will see that many of us here on BB have experienced heartbreak, so you're in good company because we certainly understand. 

 

EM 

 

nskye
Community Member

Hi Tomyy, 

 

It is not easy to get over someone you shared a deep connection with, and I am sorry to hear that this is happening to you and affecting your life. I understand that it can be heartbreaking not being able to move on from someone who was once so close to you, but I hope you can still put yourself first and look after your health and wellbeing. I am unsure about how you guys broke up and your current situation, but perhaps you should reach out to her if you feel comfortable doing so. One thing I find helpful in this situation is learning to accept the situation for what it is and turning your love for her into a way of wishing the best for her. In that way, even if you are not with her, you can be at ease knowing she is doing well elsewhere.


Most importantly, don't give up on giving other people a chance to get to know you on a deeper level, as you'll never know what might happen. Creating a deep connection with someone can be rare, and letting go of what was once special in your life is hard. Still, once you are genuinely open to other people and give yourself a chance to get to know them on a deeper level, the right person might come along sooner than you think. 

 

I hope that everything will work out for you but most importantly, please look after yourself 💙

 

Take care,