How to get back my normal life for my daughter

[Flower123]

We have only 1 daughter & she is very smart girl but her school ruin her & the Discord online game/chatting with bad people.

After she completed her high school with Atar very high & now, she starts University of 1st year, but we found out she have sex & photo & video with the people she is chatting with, not only 1 person. And when have sex without STIs, that the most we are too much worry for her as she listen & do whatever those people asking her to do. The video or photos she records or those people record & share with some people in that website.

We couldn't tell her to stop or give her any advice as she already 18 years, but she is not mature girl yet as she think she have a casual sex all the man in that website is normal for her.

We are crying too much in silence & we couldn't do anything as every time we are saying something she always screaming & shouting back to us "leave me alone, I know what to do, I am 18" 

We already asking her to see therapist or councilor, but she doesn't want to go & we can't force her to go.

We are worried too much as she may get more sex addict & get HIV or other sickness because she didn't use any protection. Not over guessing! as her video & photo have sex post into that website. We don't want to tell her we see it end up she will run away from us & not living in our house anymore that the most we don't want as she doesn't have job, not earning anything, we still supporting her everything food, money, fee to pay Uni, clothes, 

Please any parents have daughter same situation with my daughter please & please give us advice. 

Thank you so much.

[Croix]

Dear New Member~

I'd like to give you a warm welcome here. We know that unprotected sex with multiple partners is asking for trouble, as is making photos and videos of that on the web, something that may be trouble in the future.

It looks like maybe your daughter has found a way to be popular and seemingly accepted by a group and at the same time exerting her independence, which may teenagers do.

This is very worrying for you, and also very frustrating. As she is an adult, at least legally, you don't have any control and any attempt to speak sense only seems to put a divide between you and you daughter. I doubt you can simply force things by withdrawing privileges, that is just as likely to force her away.

By now I'm sure she would know what you think of her activities and repeating these to her is not working, so may I suggest you stop. Instead simply livng a normal caring life might be the best example and by doing that be hte place where she can to come to if things go wrong.

You, and I guess her dad, are under a great deal of pressure and realy need to see to your own health. I would suggest you have counseling to help you cope, rather than go it by yourselves. Relationships Australia 1300 364 277 is a pretty experienced  organisation, and if they do not have a center near you may be able to advise you of one that is.

You are welcome to talk here anytime

Croix

[Flower123]

Thank you so much for your reply.

I am worry too much as I cannot talk to her anymore as she thinking I stalking her. I did stalking her buy looking her pc but we didn't check how do we know she went out have sex with many different guys & they pay her little money. But we are supporting her everything & she is not worried for money or food or clothes or fee or Uni or living in our house as we don't have any issue with finance at all. But why she did like that? We are really stress day by day.

We did call mental health hotline for help. They didn't give any advice to us; they only told us ask her to call them then they call help. But she doesn't want to call or go to face to face or online, how can we force her? And she didn't listen to me, only talk a little to dad but she never share anything at all. Only 1 girl and we love her so much. Most of the time she is talking in angry voice & telling us "leave her alone, 18 years old already don't tell what to do"

Should I just ignore her until she comes back to normal life? So sad as we are parents couldn't do anything for her.

We are only crying in silence... keep looking her pc but can't do anything at all. As her text & video & photos in real not by AI app as we see her face & her voice & the date & time text in Discord app, not guessing. What should we do for now? Please & please advise us, thank you so much.

[Flower123]

A millions thanks again.

Before we talked to her in angry voice but now even talk very soft even begging her & trying to say far away for her to understand but she got angry all the time.

Now time to stop telling her even soft voice & cry in front of her but she has not feeling or us. Then she continues listen more & more the bad people in Discord app by have sex more than before as those people keep asking.

Still luck she very like to study & still come to Uni & she even on top of her group. How do we know as she only shows dad her exam results. But not sharing her secret in Discord app.

we are stop worry for her now. Hope she come back normal life 1 day & we hope she didn't get any sickness by sex.

[Flower123]

Hi Croix,

Why my daughter angry of me & keep saying "hate me"? I really don't understand. She is hating me more than my husband. Because she thinks all her secret activities are good & I am stalking her that why I become a wrong person? I am keep asking myself all my fault? 

[Croix]

Dear Flower123~

It's been a month since I talked with you, I regret the length of time however I've been of-line for most of it.

People in the heat of anger, and probably more so with younger people, tend to say the worst thing they can think of, partly to exert independence and partly simply to hurt. There really is no logic to it as you who are providing for all her financial needs.

Maybe it is a good thing that she has less of a reaction to her dad, it may give her a way back in if she ever wants it and in the meantime she is living the life she has chosen -wise or unwise.

It is very difficult not to take those harsh words to heart, all you can think is you are a more mature and self-controlled person than her and are judging her by your standards. Maybe your husband may be maybe to give you some comfort.

I would still suggest counceling, even if only for you alone, or you and your husband.

Croix