How to break the cycle?

Jay_Ro · ‎21-11-2015

Hi guys, new here. First post.

I have been suffering from extreme anxiety disorder and panic disorder for over 11 years now. I have no triggers and we cannot work out why I suffer other than the well known "it must have been caused from your childhood" answer.

I can feel my panic attacks coming on but can't change my mind frame to stop the attacks from taking over. It takes me days to come down from a 5 minute anxiety attack and I find that if I'm panicking about one thing, if I move on from it- I just find something else to panic over.

I do take medication, and it helps but I'm at the point now where I just feel like crying all the time. I'm depressed.

I find myself constantly asking "why aren't I normal?" -however I know now that this is my normal.

What im asking is, what seems to work for you? How do you break the cycle of the negative and worrying thoughts?

Thanks in advance - Jes

BKYTH · ‎21-11-2015

There is no 'normal' to aspire to. Who is the 'we' that you refer to? Your negative and worrying thoughts are based in your perceptions. You create them. How else could they exist? I experienced severe agoraphobia for many years and posts such as yours always resonate with me deeply. Your experience is different to mine in that you can feel a panic attack coming on. It seems from what you say that your thinking is intimately involved in your panic attacks. Examine these thoughts. What are they saying and why are they saying what they do. Their source is in you and what you create you can also change. We should never allow our thoughts to simply be and live our lives in response to them. When you say "I know this is my normal" do you understand the resignation that is implicit in that statement? You can create the life you would wish to have or you can allow your thoughts to take you where they will and support them by not challenging them and simply allowing them to be. It is not answers you need but the courage to confront yourself and to know yourself. If you cannot change your 'mind frame' to stop the attacks from taking over then examine the nature of this 'mind frame' so that you can discover what it lacks. This 'mind frame' may in fact contribute to the onset of these attacks or even be there cause. I find it useful when dealing with the difficulties that I confront in life to approach them and think about them in ways I have never done before. Come at them from an angle that I have never considered before. It can be surprising what eventuates. Philip.

white knight · ‎21-11-2015

Hi Jay_Ro, welcome

Anxiety, meds and therapy are part of the process of recovery. But there's more IMO and having overcome my anxiety (with panic attacks) fully I can say that self help plays a large part of that recovery.

Firstly I want to declare that my full recovery took 25 years. So be in for the long haul. Most mental illnesses is a case of management rather than cure. So what can you do?

I was lucky enough to attend a motivation lecture that literally changed my life. That injection of positive thinking when ever there was a negative thought was crucial in the process. So that is one avenue of self help. Other are- ridding your life of toxic people (no matter who they are), Sea change or tree change. Hobbies and passions. Employment or career change. And then there is relaxation techniques which I think are largely underestimated as to their benefits.

Relaxation- I was sceptical as to their ability to relax me. Every night after entering my bed I'd tense up every muscle separately for 10-15 seconds, then all of them for 20 seconds. This process not only totally relaxed me but easily put me to a sound sleep. I still do them 28 years after initial crises.

Pets play an important part as do holidays.

Everyone has their spiritual side. To tap into this more might help you. Some leaders in this area are not necessarily religious. One such man is Prem Rawat or commonly named "Maharaji". His most famous youtube video is "Sunset". Google "Prem Rawat Maharaji Sunset" and you'll be surprised as to his messages. Another one is "Youtube Prem Rawat Maharaji the perfect instrument" and many more. For me he takes me away from the modern world eg to a simple sunset or to appreciate our most basic gifts.

Finally - perception. My therapist 28 years ago kept asking me (when I'd tell him of my thoughts for the week) "are you being realistic"? I ask myself that many times a day- all automatically now. Thinking- wonder what will happen if ISIS comes to my home town? What will happen if my wife passed away this week. All these wandering thoughts aren't realistic and cause anxiety. Self discipline needed there.

Hope all this helps. Keep reading here in the many posts to do with this topic.

Tony WK

Jay_Ro · ‎22-11-2015

Thank you so much for your response Tony.

being new here I didn't think I'd get such wonderful responses and support.

I'm going to take your advise and try to implement it as of today!

Thank you again.

Chicken_Wings · ‎23-11-2015

Hey Jay,

I am on meds, but I was also seeing a psychologist for a while and she taught me some techniques which I still try and use.

MIndfullness was one that was good for redirecting thoughts. You can also do it anywhere, so if you find you start to feel anxious at work, it doesn't matter, you can practice mindfulness.

There are some great apps you can download, I find that when I'm really anxious and practicing it at home, having audio to guide me through it makes it a lot easier.
The basic premise is to redirect your mind away from the intrusive thoughts you are having and onto the world directly around you.

If you are at home you can lay on the bed, think about your breathing and breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Then see what you can hear, are there birds? What kind of noises are they making? Is it more than one kind of bird? Did a car just drive past? Was it going fast or slow? What fabric is the bed cover? Is it soft or does it have some sort of texture?

At work you can do a similar thing by just looking around your desk. How many pens are there? pick one up, what does it feel like? Are there different textures on different parts of it? and so on.

Another one she gave me was to keep a note book with me, or I guess you could do it on your phone. When you have a bad thought, write it down. Keep a list during the day and allocate some time to deal with those worries later. You might feel like you are writing something down every 5 minutes, thats ok.
At the end of the day, when you get to your allocated time (make sure that time has a beginning AND and end) go through your list of thoughts from that day. You might start by genuinely worrying about all of them. Or, you might find that you read one or two and think "why was I worried about this?". You might find that you write the same worry 30 times.

The idea with this technique is to train yourself to have a bad thought, acknowledge it, but then not dwell on it.

Hope these help you.