How do you deal with the monster in your head ?

[blues23]

As above im really struggling today , I did call up beyond blue , how do you deal with the destructive things in your head that tell you to do destructive things in order to cope with your anxiety? How do you cope ? I’m finding harder and harder every day to cope and be happy ( or at least pretend to be happy ) I have to have some sort of normal face in order so people can’t see how bad I actually am feeling 

[Humpty]

Dear Blues23 thankyou for putting this on the forum as some days i feel the same way in holding my head up and pretending to be happy but you know what i own up and say i have bad anxiety now and i have found that i have people there. As much as my anxiety is hard i call my monster the dragon and i tell myself that your not going to control me anymore and as much as i feel bad i just keep telling myself this. I have no emotional feelings nor do i feel anything its like im dead inside but i still say to myself your not going to control me . 

[blues23]

Hi humpty 

that’s exactly how I feel dead inside . I’m trying not to let this thing control me but it does try to a lot . I had thoughts of drinking for someone who never drinks it’s surprising what the anxiety does to you last few weeks its been self harm and doing things I shouldn’t do to myself now it’s lead on to drinking so I can feel something so the pain will stop so I no longer have to deal with all this empty ness and fear and panic attacks I feel like no one knows what it’s like for me no one understands what it’s like how hard it is to get out of bed and pretend to be normal or have some sort of emotional feeling inside .i have nothing just an empty pit 

[Petal22]

 Hi blues23,

Im sorry you are feeling this way I understand it is so hard.

Please don’t feel like you have to pretend that your ok…. It’s ok not to be ok and it’s ok to ask for help.

Thank you for reaching out to us.

I have a lived experience of severe anxiety OCD I understand how the noise of anxiety can distress us. The intrusive thoughts can make us feel very distressed and can be debilitating.
The fear that runs deep inside us is very real….. I understand……

You really can recover from what you are currently going through.

I seeked professional help for the way I was feeling and now I’m recovered and have been for many years.

Have you been able to speak to a health professional about the way you are feeling?

Please ask me anything.

[sbella02]

Hey Blues23,

Thank you very much for sharing your story, and it's great to have you on the forums.

Intrusive thoughts can be so debilitating, I know. If you haven't already, I would suggest having a chat to a GP, therapist, psychologist, or counsellor about how you're feeling, because they may be able to offer some professional advice on how to manage that little monster in your head.

Hobbies can provide a welcome distraction for me when my intrusive thoughts get particularly rough. Focusing your energy and attention on something that you enjoy can not only help distract your mind from thoughts that are unproductive, but it can also help your body release hormones that make you happy, and it can even promote introspection and reflection on some of those more difficult feelings. 

Do you have a trusted person (or a few) in your life who you would be able to confide in and chat to as well? Sometimes it can really help relieve some of that stress to have a chat to somebody who you know and who knows you. Social support can be very helpful. 

I hope this helps, please continue to chat with us, we're here to support you. 

SB 🙂

[geoff]

Hello blues23, anxiety can create this monster in your mind and as bad as it feels, it's not your fault, but an illness that develops these thoughts, just for some unknown reason, and certainly behaviour we abhor, that's why they are so damaging, because they are repetitive and at the most inappropriate time.

When you challenge these thoughts you can't seem to dismiss them or may be they become stronger, even though in reality we know they are untrue, but that doesn't help us, because they dominant out thinking.

If you can type 'intrusive thoughts' in your search bar, many discussions with different people may help you and clarify this illness.

Hope you can get back to us.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[blues23]

Hi sbella

yes I’ve spoken to my dr I have counseling next month I’m trying to keep busy not think but I have so much going on and so much stress surrounding it . Sometimes it gets hard at the moment those thoughts are gone . I’m quite ashamed of myself for feeling like I was feeling yesterday it was a massive amount of stress on a very bad day I found a way to get thru it and I hope I can control it in the future the same way . I do need to have a more in-depth conversation with my gp as he doesn’t really ask how bad I feel it’s a hard subject to bring up I feel I can’t tell him if he doesn’t ask but at least I’ll have counselling soon and hopefully that will give me. More ways to cope and hopefully get on with my life

[blues23]

Thanks Geoff 

I’ll look it up and thank you for your support it helps to have some support 

[Humpty]

Oh Blues23 i know exactly how you feel and i know how people look at you and judge you and even at times people laugh at me and say im stupid . I try now to stay in the moment i have no alcohol and believe me i used to drink where i had 7 bottles of wine in one hit and i new that was not the answer . I now ground myself i am someone i am special i have worked hard and on my very bad days i know im going to live another day with one foot in front of the other .

[blues23]

I have no alcohol in my house so I’m lucky in that way but yeah yesterday last night was a real hard one I very much contemplated taking a long drink just to ease my pain and anxiety but I did not do it . So  I’m pleased that I didn’t do it that I was able to fight it it’s a hard hard road but I have to keep fighting as hard as it is I’m still very much dont feel anything inside but l I hope one day I can find enjoyment again and actually be happy without having to pretend I’m ok which is the biggest thing as people I know are starting to notice I’m not myself I don’t feel the need to hide it but I have been so strong for so long it’s hard to let those walls down.