How do I make friends when everyone thinks I'm shy?

[it2ly]

So I just moved schools and I've made two proper friends.. ish... eh.. And im trying to join their friend group.. but I have social anxiety and I come off as a super shy sensitive person.

But in reality Im really really tomboyish, I am really chill and extremely loud and the muck around type and meme type yet Im terrified to show them that because yeah they are weird too but whenever I unleash a bit of my true self I get glares from some of the members in the group.

And confusing looks... Its really hard to be social and loud when everyone thinks I'm super shy.. what can I do?

Its just as weird when my friend knows im super weird and loud and then sees me talk to her friends in a awkward manner

PLEASE HELP

[rollerskater1]

Hi there!

I'm in a really similar position, as I moved schools this year and am still struggling to connect with people. I too made friends with two people, and have tried to join their group, but I am really intimidated by some other members, who I feel don't like me on the rare occasion I actually speak up.

I just think maybe try and speak to the people you're friends with(if you feel comfortable ofc) about the situation, and get them to try and guide you into the conversation maybe? Just be careful at first, in order to leave a good impression, and then slowly the others might warm up to you.

I am planning to do the same thing, and I hope all goes well for you.

[Marie_W]

Hi it2ly (and rollerskater1),

First of all, welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing a little bit about what is going on for you at the moment.

I’m hearing that you feel like you can’t be the person you truly are (tomboyish and chill) around this new group of potential friends. It seems like there are maybe two reasons why you feel this way – firstly, your social anxiety is making you act in a more shy and withdrawn manner. Secondly, it also sounds like you are feeling afraid of being judged by some of the people in the group (like when they give you glares or confused looks). Have I understood that right?

It must be terrible to feel like you can’t be yourself. I’m wondering if there is anyone else, aside from your two friends at school, who you feel comfortable around and who make you feel like you are able to just be yourself? Would it be possible to talk to them about how you are feeling? rollerskater1 has also shared some good ideas that might be helpful. I'd be interested to hear how everything goes if you'd like to update us.

I also just wanted to say that it is not easy moving schools so it’s great that you have already made two new friends.

Looking forward to hearing from you if you would like to reply.

- Marie (: