Well, I might be holding myself together because it has been months since he last spoke to me. And I have been hurting since the day when he cut me off. But I can tell you that i have been in the shower losing it, crying my eyes out at night. The I feel stronger, but then the weakness comes back. He had some personal issue this year and I asked him if he was ok. Problem was the anxiety took over and I began to worry excessively, and I kept asking him to contact me. Was it that hard just to send a quick text saying something like i'm fine, need time out, or something like that? It would have eased my mind so much and then I wouldn't have kept pushing. That's all I wanted the whole time, just to know that he was ok. And then when he began talking to other people in the months after, I kept trying just to get an acknowledgement. Seeing him friend other people on facebook, yet he won't give me the time of day anymore. It hurts me. I don't know if he thinks by not talking to me, then he won't hurt me or whether he can't face me cause he is embarrassed or something, who knows. The fact is that all I want is to talk it out, clear the air and then whatever, whether closure or friends again. It is just so frustrating. What do they always say about that you shouldn't get romantically involved with a close friend cause it will just end in tears? Yep, this time last year, I had this amazing friend who I was in love with, now I don't have either.
