Hi friends - Seeking some words of support

[Faithh]

Hi guys,

Thought I'd post here cos I wasn't exactly sure where I could just write an "update/having bad day" kinda post!

Before I go on, I do have a therapist i speak to but just reaching out today in the hope of some responses as I'm not having the best time and hope to feel less alone in this feeling. I'll put a little run down to what is affecting my life in negative ways (which I'm trying to change) but today has just been a bit of an overwhelming time.

- Lost job in Nov 2016, still haven't been able to find anything. Im an art director and Ive been looking outside of my industry as well to earn some cash. I've gone from a healthy salary to nothing. Thankfully i have a partner, but still I need to make money and also keep busy!
- Staying with mother in law lately to help her out after she was in hospital. I want to help of course but this has also pushed back my recovery program (haven't been to the gym since last Thursday and i can really feel the difference)
- Dealing with my own health anxiety. I freak over the smallest things and catastrophise to the point of what feels like no return! Eg: tension headaches for me are... the worst case scenario, and I know I make them worse by imagining myself having to go to hospital for something terrible!
- Shouldnt have googled anything health related!!

Today has just made me feel so horrible I was pretty much in tears.

Any words of wisdom, comfort and understanding would be so appreciated. Thanks xF

[james1]

Hi Faithh,

Some days are just outright crap, no way around it.Your mind gets fixated on something and no amount of distraction can get rid of it.

The only thing that really works for me is to do what you're doing now, which is try to figure out ways to overcome other obstacles in your life. So that's awesome.

Jobs! Ah work has a nasty habit of stressing us out when we have one, and more so when we don't. To be completely honest, I don't know about this one. It's really a game of persistence and flexibility. You're looking outside of your industry which is good, though I get the feeling you'd much rather work in the job you had previously? Would you consider further education? Even a short course of some sort.

Mother in law - family is super important, but so is your health. You can't take care of her if you are also suffering as well. Are you able to explain to your partner that you need to make time for yourself and compromise so you can, say, go to gym and have someone else be with the mother in law while you're out? Or perhaps you could find some in-house workouts with purely body weight. There are lots of different programs online you can check out.

Health anxiety...I have a friend who really struggles with this as well and we were just talking about strategies today. We thought one possible way was to entrust care to someone else. If you're sick, let someone else take care of you and try to trust that they will do right by you. After all, they're the one thinking clearest. Also having "You will be okay" written on cards with your health care kit.

Sorry to hear how everything is going. You're sounding really overwhelmed. But I've seen some of your other posts and it's clear that you really want to get better, and it's usually that desire that starts creating change. You're doing well 🙂

James

[Faithh]

HI James,

Thanks for such a lovely response.

Jobs - funny thing is I dont want to go back to designing behind a computer 8 hours a day as I noticed a pattern when i hit peak anxiety its always triggered by work. i think because i am looking outside of my "trade" its been a bit harder/frustrating, so I havent completely shut the door on design (because its probably an easier way to work) HOWEVER, not a happier one. So Im at a huge crossroads right now. Holding hope something will come soon.

Family - Family is so important to me. I am helping/being there for my partner in supporting her, but Ive decided to go home tomorrow and carry on my routine. She will also have another member of her family coming tomorrow so that also makes me feel more ok with it. She is doing great and will only get better, so her condition is getting better day by day.

Health anxiety - great strategy thanks for sharing 🙂 Thing is though, its all made up and I jump to the worst possible outcome. So yeh still working through that with therapy!

Again really appreciate your response, thank you for the encouragement 🙂

Faithh

[james1]

Hey Faithh,

Ah that makes sense with work. Perhaps what you could do in the meantime while you're between jobs is find some volunteer work. It's a great way to give back to the community while also making sure you're keeping up skills and also don't feel bored. Just a suggestion 🙂 it could even help you figure out what you want to do in the long term, because it sounds like you're trying to work that one out (but need money first!)

That's great news that she's getting better. Hopefully things will improve and she won't need as much help anymore. It's lovely that you want to help, but I am glad you're going back home tomorrow. It sounds like you need a bit of a break.

Yeah, my friend has PTSD from hospital so she catastrophises a lot as well. I have a similar thing but with relationships - if someone is replying to messages constantly then suddenly misses one, I often think I must've insulted them and thus they hate me now. So I kind of understand the panic 🙂 The best thing really is still to have someone who you can use as a sounding board. Just tell them exactly what you're thinking and feeling, uncensored. Before you appoint this person or people (perhaps your partner and family?) make sure they know you just need to be listened to and reassured. Otherwise they could be left feeling frustrated.

James

[Jugglin_Strugglin]

Hi guys,

regarding the health anxiety, last night (6/3/17) I caught the last half of Nightlife on ABC radio. It was Dr Sarah Edelman, a psychologist, on Somatisation. She had a few good simple strategies for handling things. Her answers to the callers at the end were very good too.

Worth a listen, perhaps? I just got podcast...googled 'abc nightlife' and it is first on the list at the moment.

Hope this helps.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Faithh, if you're looking for ongoing support, it helps the community to keep up if you stick to a single thread that you can update rather than starting a new one each time.  We can see you have another thread like this one from mid-February.  We'd suggest keeping this thread going as your 'check-in' thread for seeking support on days when you're not feeling so great.  It will also enable you to look back on how you've coped previously, and previous support/advice given.  

[Faithh]

Hi Sophie,

Thanks for that. I'm still fairly a newbie to BB so I'll be mindful of that.

Faithh