Health anxiety?

[Mummybee]

Hello everyone,

I am new to posting here.

I think I am getting health anxiety...

i have always been prone to panic attacks followed by periods of anxiety, but usually just situational, and as soon as the issue I'm worried about is resolved the anxiety fades and I go back to my usual self.

the problem this time is that it's my health I'm worried about and I'm scared that's making me find symptoms that aren't there and I will never escape this!

it started when I had some foggy brain and when to the Drs about it. He said he wanted to do an MRI after my blood tests came back all clear just to make sure there wasn't anything sinister going on, and that's when I panicked. I'm a 32 yo mother of two young children and between the time he said I needed the MRI and when I saw him again I had convinced myself I had MS or a brain tumour or something that would kill me.

when I rang for the results the receptionist told me that my dr wanted to see me regarding the results and I went into full panic attack. I couldn't breath, my heart was pounding my ears ringing I couldn't move my legs or arms... I made it to the doctors with some help from my mum and was told he just wanted me to see an eye dr as the MRI radiologist had queried a slightly larger optical nerve. No tumours no signs of anything nasty. But my muscles were so weak from the panic attack and it just won't go away, so now I'm so wound up and sick with worry about my muscles and why they are twitching like crazy and feel weak. This was three weeks ago and I'm still weak and twitching and can't get back to my dr until next week.

 i thought posting on here might help take my mind off it for a while and hear other people's experience with health anxiety.

when I went to the eye dr my optical nerve was fine and my vision perfect but they did find slight changes suggesting cataracts. Cataracts at 32!! So now I have dr googled myself into being sick about the diseases I must have underlying to have cataracts at 32!

thanks for listening. 

I'm so worried about not being around to watch my kids grow up 😞

[Jacko777]

Hi mummybee,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, I am glad you are talking about this, it sounds like it's been a challenging time. I am sure there will be others on here who have similar experiences and will have support and advice.

I am glad you can get to your Doc next week and meanwhile I hope you can find some ways to reduce your anxiety. If I am stressed out for too long I get migraines. They have been great motivation for me to reduce negative thoughts which I had to cut out or suffer bad. So you could presume that everything is going to be okay until you know otherwise, this will take practice. Whenever you notice that you are having negative thoughts, try and switch to something positive, you need positive diversions to give your mind a break. 

There is an old saying...all unhappiness is caused by a chord that is yet to sound or a chord that stopped ringing long ago. We don't want to lose our energy to something that may never happen, we need that energy to get through the days, conserve your energy, practice positive thinking and gratitude for the health you have right now. All the best.

Jack

[Moonstruck]

Hello Mummybee......I am a first timer too....so haven't quite learned the rules yet....re "keeping the thread"...so I can't really say I have "Health Anxiety" but I am glad you've been able to express your fears and feelings...that is so important isn't it?...just to "get it out" to people who understand where you're coming from...re anxiety. After several traumatic events in last couple of weeks  ( including 3 car breakdowns, the present one still not resolved)....my old "anxiety panic attacks feelings" have started to come back....and it's horrible. I feel this need to TALK.....and sometimes others don't fully get how incredibly UPSET you are.....about a car breaking down and how scary it is in heavy traffic etc....they brush it off "thats cars for you"...when alone at home today (I live alone) I am wasting a whole day...worrying, bursting into tears, shallow breathing, shaking, terrified that I will be too scared to drive far again...scared of borrowing a friend's car...scared I will damage it...scared my own car will break down the same way again...scared, scared, scared.....my logical, intelligent side (which others know me for) know I am "over reacting"......but it's so hard to tell my emotional side that!......Sorry folks for unburdening myself onto you with all this crap....I admire you all and wish you especially Mummybee..peace and love...xx

[Jacko777]

Hi Moonstruck,

Welcome, you are having a rough day mate. Maybe take a few moments to sit down and do some breathing exercises, I do 4 seconds in, 4 seconds out, not too deep, I count in my head and tell my self R E L A X on the out breath. Thoughts will keep entering and that's okay, keep bringing your self back to the counting and watching your breath go in and out with your minds eye.

I guess anxiety can come from an underlying condition and/or from the way we are taught to respond to life. I found I had to change my program, from reacting to my life out of emotion, to respond to life from my heart, being true to my self. For me, it takes practice, the more times I switch from a negative thought to a positive one the more it becomes a natural mindset. I try to drop all emotion, I practice, it doesn't serve me, emotion to me comes from a mind that has not recovered from bad experiences.  It's not what happens to you that counts, it's how you handle it, as they say. Calmness has to be taken, not given, I had to decide that calmness is mine and I will not let anyone or thing touch it, well I try! For me it's about conserving energy for the important parts of life, I presume their will be challenges and failures, it's how I respond to them that defines 'me'.

Unburden any time.

Jack

[Moonstruck]

Thank you Jacko777 - "emotion to me comes from a mind that has not recovered from bad experiences" - I know what you are getting at  (I think) as I recognise that I "have not recovered from bad experiences"...some from quite a number of years ago.....one of the most untrue sayings, a fallacy is that "time heals all wounds".....No it doesn't. I don't agree.  Time is just "time"....it's what we do with that time that heals......and no matter how much healing and bandaging and getting up again and again takes place.....if you look closely enough....you can still see the scars.....but.....onwards and upwards Jacko777.......who knows?  Another time when we meet on this forum, I may be telling you all about my lovely new (well, second hand) air-conditioned car!!!.....cheers, Moonstruck

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone, this is a topic that comes up quite a bit on the forums. Below are some other threads you might want to check out:

 Health anxiety and panic disorder

Health anxiety, a long lonely road

Severe health anxiety

Health anxiety - please help

Health anxiety

Health anxiety is taking over

Health anxiety disorder

Health anxiety by KatieNZ

[mumpegg]

Hi Mummybee, 

newbie here too, I just joined today and I almost could have written your post myself. I have two young kids, 1 & 2 and I constantly convince myself I'm dying and they will grow up without a mother. It's all consuming and it's all I think about sometimes, right down to details of having to say goodbye etc etc. 

Earlier this year it was cervical cancer, then I thought I had some sort of eye cancer and for the last two weeks I'm convinced I have bowel cancer. It started off as one symptom which I've seen a doctor about and now I just have dizziness, muscle weakness, back pain and fatigue which could either be low iron (further adding to my fears) OR is it the anxiety tricking me! I have another appointment tomorrow, but I know I'm just going to have to get a million tests done because I won't be able to calm down until I get to the absolute bottom of the problem. 

I have only in the last couple of days admitted to myself that I have a serious problem and this is actually taking over my life. All I want to do is sit on the lounge and Google my symptoms. I have periods of saying to myself "NO snap out of it and enjoy your kids!" And then next minute I've gone back down again. 

Whilst I hate hearing other people like you are having these same awful feelings, it's nice to know I'm not alone....

[Mummybee]

Hi mumpeg,

I am glad that my post made you feel a little less alone. It's horrible isn't it? All consuming is the best way I can describe it too!

my muscles felt so weak today so that had me in a spin about why these symptoms are lasting so long, how can my brain be doing this? All the questions start running...

my eyes felt dry, probably because of being so exhausted, straight away I'm googling dry eyes! There is something seriously wrong with me...

my muscles twitch all the time, the dr Google results of that are also terrifying!

good to hear I'm not the only one.

take care 

mummybee 

[darthritis]

Yep this is me too!

 I've been doing it since I was a kid as a result of separation anxiety.

I'm constantly seeing specialists, trying (and kind of hoping) to find a medical diagnosis as the thought of it just being anxiety is scarier to me as there is no cure, just management.

Anxiety is pretty amazing in terms of how many physical symptoms it can present. 

I bet we will both live to 100 thinking we're going to die at any second! haha

[Mummybee]

Hi mumpeg,

how are you doing? How did you go at the doctor?

i just woke up this morning with that horrible all consuming sense of dread... What symptoms will be there today, how weak will I feel? My stomach fills with dread and I struggle to face the day.

hope you're doing better