Hating self

[Maxy333]

I'm suffering from terrable guilt and shame that makes me self loathing , my hatered for myself is depressing me. I'm not to sure how to turn this around.

[blondguy]

Hi Maxi333

There are many caring posts above.....Grandy has taken the words right out of my mouth. I really hope you dont 'hate' yourself as you are strong for posting in the first place and good on you!

The forums are a safe and non judgmental place for you to post Maxi. If you wish to elaborate on your feelings we can provide you with more effective support

Thankyou for being a part of the forum family 🙂

my kind thoughts

Paul

[jaz28]

Something I always live by is "the past is the past" - you can't change it. So I only look to the present, because the future is never guaranteed either. Is it possible to have a conversation with the people you have hurt?

[quirkywords]

Maxy333

I have spent a large part of my .one life feeling guilty and not liking myself.

I know you can’t live in the last but if people treat you as you were years ago it is hard.
so one has to forgive oneself and learn from the past.

Take care

[Maxy333]

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and reasuring words, they will never understand or forgive me for my actions. And I understand that. With my situation there is no understanding or forgiveness from them. So I have to try and move on. .... I'm feeling like I'm not by my self being here talking. It's a small relief. Thankyou.

[Maxy333]

Thankyou. But it's not possible to talk to the people I have hurt. So I'm stuck between them and the people im hurting now and in the Future. How ever I look at it and try and sort out , I can't avoid guilt and shame.

[Maxy333]

Thankyou Blondguy for your kind words, they hit me with comfort.

[jaz28]

Guilt and shame are normal, in any case. You can't change the past but you can change your future 🙂

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Maxy..

I’m pleased you don’t feel so by yourself while talking on here...We all care for each other and try to support each other as well....

I do hope you can forgive yourself and move forward..

Guilt and shame, seem to go hand in hand and are very hard emotions to manage..

Maxy, you need to keep telling yourself that it was a mistake, which mean you didn’t do it on purpose....

I wish I knew the right words to say to you, so you stop being so hard on yourself and hating yourself...We are our worse critic...When in reality we really should be our own best friend and be gentle and kind to ourself...

Is talking to a professional about your guilt and shame...something that you might consider?...

Talk here dear Maxy...we are all here for you and wish the very best for you..

My kindest thoughts Maxy..

Grandy.,

[Maxy333]

Thank you dear Grand

Your kind words help a great deal, as do all the others, my situation doesn't allow me the comfort of talking to anyone else but one close love of mine. Expressing my self here and hearing from you and others is reasuring, for that I thank you all. I'm in a situation where one member of our family is on a non-stop distructive course to punish me for what I did, but is going to distroy our family in the process. And I can't stop it from happening. The innocent people I love the most are going to be hurt the most . And it's my fault. Hurt me ,not them. Unfortunately this person can't be talked to.

Thankyou for listening.

[Pumpkinella]

Hi Maxy333,

How have you been lately?

I think that it is important to be accountable and understand that we are responsible for the actions we take, but this needs to be balanced with compassion and understanding.

Often people who do things they regret were in a bad place, they may be traumatised, they may not have known a better way to behave at the time, it may have been a reaction that happened in the blink of an eye. I don't believe in bad people doing bad things. I believe there is always a reason, a reason we can all relate to and understand.

I wonder if you can think about what kind of a place you were in mentally at the time of the action? What were you experiencing?

Warmly,

Pumps