hi MSH, thanks for replying and I totally understand what you have said, but perhaps can I approach it in another way, not that I dismissing any of your comments, because they are important, by giving you another example.
I always wanted to hurt my dear Mum who I loved so dearly and could never understand why I wanted to even carry out anything to hurt her, I loved her too much and she loved me, so why did I feel this way, I didn't need any more affection from her, I was married with a beautiful wife and two beautiful sons, my life was perfect, perhaps I was pushing her away to have any control like she did when I was young, teaching me what is right and what is wrong.
These thoughts are compulsive where we imagine that what we want will happen if we walk around the room 5 or 6 times, or imagine to ourselves that if we wish something awful towards someone then what we have wished for will happen.
What you are thinking is irrational isn’t always enough to actually stop the obsessive thoughts from happening, it generally means you are over-stressed, and stress worsens these thoughts.
Challenge these thoughts and ask yourself that you've had these thoughts before and has anything gone wrong, perhaps wear a rubber band around your wrist and every time these thoughts come into your mind flick the rubber band, see if any of this helps you. Geoff.
