Getting out of an anxiety fueled rut?

[Pinkly]

I'm currently 24, and over the past couple of years I've been struggling really hard with keeping up with work commitments. I quit one job due to stress, anxiety and issues going issues in the place (long story) and was unemployed for a couple of months. Then I got another job at a different place, and had many panic attacks both at home and at work because of work, and I ended up quitting again due to stress and anxiety and had 9 months of unemployment. I got a job again at the first place as they gave me a second chance, but it was just the same thing and I fell into the same rut and issues I had the first time, as well as a new wave of toxicity, office politics, cattiness between colleagues that did not help my mentality.

So far I have been unemployed (again) for about 4 months and really struggling. In this 4 months, I've lost 2 family members that were extremely close (they both passed within a month of each other) and I haven't been able to deal with that very well which is not helping.

I really want to get into doing study, because I feel like any place I go for work, I'm just going to continuously let my bosses/managers down with my unreliability and I don't want to continue my bad reputation I feel like I have, but I'm at a complete loss of what to do.
I never really had a passion or drive toward anything in particular when I was growing up that made me think "that's what I want to do when I get older" and even though I've just thrown myself out there and actually just applied for some course of study, I'm filled with a ball of anxiety, doubt and for some reason regret, even though after months of weighing up all the courses and picking what seemed like the best out of all, I'm really not sure.

Has anyone else had any issues like this or similar? What can I do to try and overcome this?
I'm sick of going round and round in circles like I have been for the past 5 or so years of my life.

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi Pinkly,

Welcome to the forum. It sounds like you have had a really tough time with your level of anxiety over the past five years. This anxiety compounded with the grief you must be experiencing from the loss of two family members, its no wonder you are having a tough time. Have your received any treatment or support for your anxiety symptoms at any time? If so, was anything helpful? If you haven't sought treatment, it might be a good place to start. Anxiety is treatable. A visit to your GP and talking with your doctor about symptoms might lead you to getting a referral to a counsellor or psychologist. Another option could be doing a program like Mindspot which is an online program to help people learn skills and tools to manage low mood and worry. Mindspot can be found be visiting here www.mindspot.org.au

Another great program that doesn't need a GP referral is called NewAccess and has been developed by beyondblue. It is free and involves talking with a specially trained Coach who only deals with symptoms of depression and anxiety. Unfortunately the program is only available in select parts of the country but you can check by going to this website https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/newaccess

Finding motivation to study or work doesn't come easy when you are having symptoms of anxiety and low mood. Getting on top of your symptoms and finding the right treatment can help you get out of the rut you describe. If you read through the anxiety thread on the forum you will find that anxiety is a very common experience and that finding the right treatment doesn't always happen the first time, but with persistence you can find a way through your anxiety and feel more positive with your life and the decisions you make.

Wishing you the best possible outcome,

Nurse Jenn