Hi All,
I have been reading through many posts on here, and was wondering whether anyone has any of the symptoms I have.
I was diagnosed with GAD about 12 years ago. I hide it very very well as I don't want people to think I'm crazy. I was put on medication back then, and did some therapy. Every time I felt better I stopped my therapy. The meds I was on made me put on a whole lot of weight, and I began to not care about anything anymore. These meds literally gave me no good feelings at all. I had two children within that time, and stayed home to raise them.
When my eldest turned about 3 I started to get very bad anxiety again. I started to rely on alcohol to make me feel better on the weekends, and needless to say it didn't end well. Especially when I was hungover I would have these terrible anxious feelings. It all culminated in me wanting to give up the meds, and I lost my license for 2 years for drink driving.
I was unable to get the kids around and started to feel depressed. Long story short, the whole of last year I felt pretty good being off the meds. I am due to get my license back in July, and am getting married in October. My lifestyle has changed dramatically. I have given up drinking copious amount of alcohol, and am in a part time job as the kids start school this year.
Anyway at the start of December I started to feel really unwell. Went to the doctor 2 weeks ago worried that I had some terrible disease. Panicked for the 3 days before I got the results, and they came back normal. However I can't shake this overall feeling of anxiety and depression. I have a lot to look forward to this year, but I don't really care. I feel strange, like I might throw up, I get this weird feeling like everything looks different, and I get very bad shakes all day in my hands. I am constantly googling what may be wrong with me. My fiancé is put under stress as I am just irritable, angry and stressed all the time.
I have a referral to see a counsellor but haven't booked a session yet. I am scared to go to work today because I feel so ill and so sad. Will this ever go away?
I love my children and my family, but just am not myself at all.... Any input would be great 🙂
