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- From the mum of a daughter with anxiety
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From the mum of a daughter with anxiety
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Lizzie,
Hello. Welcome to beyond blue. You will find many people here who have anxiety issues. You are talking to one right now. I have been seeing a psychologist for nearly a year now because of this (and depression and ...) There was a night last year where I totally closed off from my family (wife and kids) and they knew something was up. So I went to a GP who referred me to a psychologist for a 2nd opinion and since then have been working through issues that affect me. For myself, I dont whether I will ever over it totally, except that regardless of whether I do or not, I have been given a variety of distraction and coping tools to help manage stresses in everyday life. So I guess that I can say there is hope.
My kids are both in high school - one in their final year and the other in year 10. From what they go through, and my own experiences at that age, I know things can be tough.
Can you tell me what you were looking for in posting here? For example, after tips and tricks for your daughter? Or yourself?
And now that you have spoken with your daughter about this, is she feeling any better now that someone else is aware of what she going through?
I hope you dont mind my questions, but I dont want to provide you with any suggestions that would be counter-productive. Your daughter could also join beyond blue, as there are other young people here also, and you are anonymous. (There are some tricky things here but should be doable.)
Anyway, I for one, am listening to you, and if you have any questions or want to chat some more...
Tim
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HI Lizzie K and welcome to the forums
Sorry to hear your daughter is struggling with anxiety. When I was 15 I also struggled with anxiety (and ED but not important now) and I also had a lot of shame surrounding it then. I am no longer ashamed to have anxiety and have opened up to support, but I do understand where she is coming from. You worry about being a burden on your parents and not being the perfect child they wanted (and deserved). Now my parents tell me all they wanted was a healthy happy child and they never had expectations on me, but anxiety tells you they wanted someone better and perfect. I just thought I'd share that so you can maybe understand why she isn't wanting to share with her father yet.
I thought I should also suggest a youth mental health service called headspace. I am now 27 so I no longer use this service, but I have used it and I found (the ones I went to) very welcoming and understanding. They work in youth mental health so it is their bread and butter and that makes you feel more comfortable being there (if that makes sense). They have various centres across Australia as well as online services. https://headspace.org.au/ An alternative to headspace is going to your gp and getting a referal (and mental health care plan) to a psychologist (preferably one with an interest in youth). I have done both routes and both are good options. Just depends which she prefers and which fits in the budget (note headspace is a low cost/free service and some psychologists bulk bill but others do not bulk bill)
I hope this has helped. If you have any questions you want to ask me feel free to ask, I am an open book.
MsP
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Omg Lizzie, I signed up today to tell the exact same story. My 16 yr old told me that she went to the school counselor because her friend suggested that she should visit her and the counselor told her that she has chronic anxiety. It breaks my heart. I have 3 kids and my daughter is the oldest. No shame in saying I love her the most, more than anything and anyone. I am so concerned for her but can’t overtly show it as she will be more stressed. Thought should join the forum to learn how parents are helping their teenage daughters cope with anxiety.
you have done the right thing by not telling her dad. I m doing the same. Respecting my daughters feeling and trust in me.