Finally asked for help

[Pompom]

I've taken the hard step of finally asking for help.  I've always been a worrying anxious type, but it's taken a very long time for me to acknowledge that it's something I've lost control of.  I'm always busy, I wonder sometimes whether I keep myself that way deliberately, because my mind can't wonder randomly if I'm busy.  But when I do slow down and especially when it's time for sleep, this irrational brain of mine starts it's chatter and ruins my quiet time.  It's having a big impact on my relationship too.  My darling man has been very patient but my mood swings confuse him, he never knows which mood he'll face when he comes home from work.

I had a really useful conversation with the Mindspot Clinic and am seeing my GP tomorrow for support.  Mindspot asked me when I first noticed the anxiety start.  It's hard to pinpoint, I've always been known as a 'born worrier'.  But when I look back, I can recognise that even some of my thoughts & behaviour patterns as a child may have pointed towards an anxiety disorder. 

Trouble was, it wouldn't have stood out because my Mum and grandmother were the same, fidgety worriers.  Is anxiety genetic or, having grown up watching them, is it learned behaviour?  I don't know and I don't suppose it really matters.  What does matter is I've accepted I cannot control this alone - I really have no idea how to if I'm honest.  

I feel that with the help of the Mindspot course, my GP and this site, I will learn valuable practical skills to manage this and find the bubbly me that I know is still in there.  

[geoff]

dear Pompom, great username, sorry, but welcome to this forum, as we seem to be getting so many more people struggling with depression these days.

By having your mum and grandmother  with anxiety problems you do learn from them, although it may still be in your genes, but that doesn't matter really, because you have identified this.

By keeping yourself busy is good for the day time functions but you then have the thinking which keeps going on when you try and relax or try to sleep, so this is something that not only annoys you but is also very frustrating, so maybe listen to music, or relaxing tapes which I know put you to sleep as it did for myself, but what you have to remember is that once your mind starts to digress back to the original problems, then stop the tape and either change the tape/cd disc on to something else or restart it, or even hum the music.

When your Mindspot course ends then you have to keep trying to do the exercises that it has taught you, other wise it will be all lost.

I am sure that your anxiety has been slowly building up inside of you for a long long time, but I would be interested in your Mindspot course, if you have the time. L Geoff. x

[Pompom]

Hi Geoff, 

Thanks for your reply.  You're right, although the course will no doubt teach me lots of useful skills for managing my anxiety, it will be an ongoing lifelong practice.  I'll keep you posted with my progress.  I feel more positive having now made the step to seek help and I've admitted to my partner how much of a struggle it has been.  I am so lucky that he supports and wants to help me with this, many would have run for the hills!