fighting hard but tired

[Amberlourob]

Hello,

I'm new here and have been reading through the forum posts and am quite encouraged by the support shown here.

I'm a wife and mum to a two year old and have experienced anxiety for most of my life. I developed OCD at 8 and unfortunately wasn't treated for over a decade. At 18 health anxiety kicked in big time and has lingered ever since. I began my recovery journey at 20. Being diagnosed by a psychiatrist, seeing a psychologist and working with my GP. I then got married, found a great counsellor and was managing well. After my son was born I experienced a severe, rare complication and was rushed to hospital when he was 7 weeks old and I had to have surgeries and eventually a hysterectomy to save my life. It was a setback to say the least.

I was proactive in getting support and dealing with the trauma. I was doing so well that I was working with my GP to come off my medication. That ended badly and has seen my health anxiety ramp up to an extreme level. I'm back on my higher dose of medication, I'm seeing a psychologist for trauma work and go to my GP it seems constantly. I'm doing everything I can and still failing I'm exhausted and scared and want my life back.

I guess what I'm saying is, do you guys think I can beat this? Because I'm feeling beat.

thanks

[james1]

Hi Amber,

Welcome! It's always wonderful to see a forum reader turn into a forum poster. It shows you have a lot of courage and strength to post.

I'm sorry to hear about your complications over the past couple of years. It sounds like a "setback" is very much an understatement and you've had a really really difficult time.

I'm also really impressed that you've been so proactive and that you were taking really positive steps. You want to get better and you want to get your life back on track. That is so important because your health is more important than anything else right. It sounds like you recognise this and that is often the hardest bit on the road to recovery.

But, as you're experiencing now, it's a really difficult journey to control your anxiety especially if it has been going on for long. Sometimes it can feel like we're getting better, just for something to happen which kicks us right back down, and that is so demoralising.

I think you can beat this. Or rather, I think you can outlast it. You're in a storm which is blowing really hard right now. So this is the time to bunker down, put up support structures with your doctors and medication, and weather the storm. Then when it calms down a bit - and it will eventually - you can keep moving forward. And even if you have to bunker down again later, you're getting closer to home every single time.

How do you find your psychologist sessions and medication? Have they been helpful recently since you tried to come off them?

If things ever get overwhelming, don't forget you can call the BeyondBlue helpline. It sounds like you're doing everything you can and everything you're doing is the right thing to do. We're always here to talk and support
you.

James

[Amberlourob]

Thank you so much for your reply James!

I really appreciate your encouragement.

I am hoping to go see a psychiatrist again soon and have them look at my medication. I've been on this medication for a while and it's possible that there are other medications that would work well.

I'm very happy with my psychologist. We have been doing some EMDR which is helpful. I have had 9 sessions and so my Medicare rebates are nearly up and it will start getting costly. So I've started attending an anxiety support group also. I'm willing to give anything a go.

Thanks again

[james1]

Hey Amber, seeing your psychiatrist again about the medication sounds like a good idea. I've never used medication myself, but from what I've heard on the forums, it does seem like you need to keep switching every now and then.

Great to hear your psychologist sessions and EMDR are going well. I've started image rescripting which is confronting but hopefully will get easier over time.

Yes! It's so frustrating that they only have 10 medicare rebate sessions. Even private health insurance doesn't tend to pay very much so it is very costly. How did you find the support group? I've been keen to find one as well for depression. I think some local councils also offer similar things.

Great to hear from you Amber. Thanks for the reply.

James

[ci]

Hi amber

Firstly let me say I'm sure you can get on top of this you sound like a fighter and determined to get your life back.

Also something I learnt about the Medicare sessions there is another rebate scheme set up that says for another 5 sessions through medicare it's slightly different it's to help people with chronic illness or injury can be used for physio and things but also as extra help for mental health issues to see phycologist my gp did for me last year. Might help you.

I have ocd wasn't diagnosed till in my 30s but suffered for long time not knowing what it was. I to had to have hysterectomy and that's when everything went crazy for me been trying and fighting to get things under control since then. I'm not sure if it's the stress or the hormone change that triggered it for me

[Lind779]

Hey sweety,

How are you feeling? You must remember, you felt good once before, you will feel good again.

It is exaughsting and it can sometimes get overwhelming but you're stronger than you think.

I have been up since 2am this morning with constant anxiety attacks, vomitting and feeling super tired. I was doing so well but I have just become pregnant with my first and hormones are playing havoc on me. But, I know I can get through it and I will feel better again.

Like the guys said, ride out the storm and it will clear soon enough 😊

[Evan_John]

Hi Amber,
I think you can beat this. You've seen progress before and you'll see it again.
I'm learning to love myself more and hearing your story is an inspiration. Gently keep working at it with whatever self-love and wisdom is with you at this time.
You're in my thoughts.
Evan.