Oh Skye, how difficult for you. I'm sorry you are so scared about all this.
Perhaps you can keep telling yourself that it really is only a "WORD".
If you have it, or if you DONT, you would still be the very same person then, as you are now.
And that wont change.
You say that you would walk away from your family, that you couldnt live with them if you were diagnosed with "S". Could you really deprive them of their loving mother who adores them so very much? I think not. And I also know that they would definitely not want that.
So here you are driving yourself insane (your words, not mine) about the possibility that a new health professional may find something that a previous one missed. Would you worry any less if you just didnt bother to go? Or would you continue to worry anyway, because you are convinced you have "s"?
I can see that this is a major dilema you have. Is there someone close to you that you can talk to more about this? Someone you know well like a good friend or a sibling or parent perhaps? See what they think.
I know it is worth nothing coming from someone totally unqualified, but you seem to me to be totally sane. But just extremely anxious about a particular health issue.
If its any comfort to you, I do have a brother-in-law who is "s" and until they adjusted his medication, he was in a very bad way. Now he comes across as very normal. I also have a neighbour who is 's' and the same story with her. The medication is vital for them both as it allows them to apparently live a normal happy life. So I do know that it is treatable.
I guess where you work, you probably see people in their worst state, the ones who have not been treated or got their meds right yet. That must be scary for you, and I sympathise. But I suspect you are only seeing the worst.
Do you want to know, or would you prefer not to? Do what you think is right Skye. Only you can know that.
But please dont drive yourself insane in the process! ( - :
Hugs to you Skye.
Sherie xx
