Feeling insecure about my body. How do I stop comparing myself to other people?

[miltiaink]

Hi, so as the title says, I can't help but pick apart how I look. I absolutely hate the fact that I do this. It's unproductive, and it makes me feel so shallow and unworthy. I find it embarrassing to talk to people, particularly on how I try to 'fix' this. I often surf the internet to try make myself feel comfortable with my body, but it just ends up making things worse, as I compare to others. Then it becomes this endless loop, one that just drains me. Consciously, I know that it's not very important but my subconscious says otherwise. I feel trapped and weak, always wanting to be perfect. I really do want it to stop, and move forward with my life. Does anyone have any advice for me?

[Croix]

Dear Miltiaink~
Thank you for posting here and talking about a subject that obviously worries you a lot. I get the idea you feel a bit trapped by this. Do you have any ideas as to the cause behind this behavior?

I guess one can talk about modern society, the fact that images of idealized men and women are everywhere. On TV, movies, magazines, advertisements and so on and on. Under such circumstances it’s just about impossible not to compare oneself - a normal human being – with an air-brushed supermodel, and feel very ordinary as a result. I would suppose just about everyone does this to some extent.

I think it is a judgment call as to how much such comparisons affect one’s life, and the lengths one should go to improve matters. One cannot escape modern media so maybe other ways.

One thing that has possibilities is to build up your idea of your worth in other areas. Most people have strengths, things they are good at. Not necessarily anything really big, just something that is an accomplishment, anything from art to driving, study to training puppies. You get the idea. Is there something you can practice and concentrate on to make you feel at least a little bit special?

The other, and probably most obvious avenue to try is to find out if you have some form of anxiety condition and these comparisons are the result. If I were in your place I’d see my GP in a long appointment and explain everything including the effect it is having on your life and ask to be tested, then see what happens.

No instant answers I’m afraid, but a couple of suggestions. It would be good if you came back and said what you thought

Croix

[BballJ]

Hi miltiaink,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

This is an interesting issue you have bought up, I think most people to a degree and self conscious but to the point where it is like an endless loop where it drains you as you said can be quite hard on yourself.

Croix has provided some great advice and I agree with the fact that seeing if this is all related to an anxiety condition may be worth getting checked out if you haven't already. I am not saying you have anxiety in any form but it never hurts to speak to your GP and find out what would be causing this.

Our society has this expectation that we look a certain way so I can see how this would happen to people and it isn't fair but we are all unique in our own ways.

Please, feel free to post back as much as you like.

My best for you,

Jay