Feeling alone .

[EarthlingEarth]

Hello I’m new to Beyond Blue, I have had anxiety since my father died around 5 years ago, soon after this my husband had a nervous breakdown,then my daughter went through anorexia as well as my youngest having behavioural problems. Now I had mild anxiety at the time , but after this had occurred,I found out my own mother and brother had been backstabbing me for years, they never apologised so I have cut all contact with them , this made my anxiety worse .I basically feel alone as I have not many true friends , and no one seems to really care . I’m a middle aged woman who feels trapped in this anxiety nightmare feeling ,pit in the stomach every day and wouldn’t mind advice from people,on ways to cope with it . I currently don’t work as my youngest as at school still, but would love to return to work but I don’t have great people skills . Going back before this I was in a business with my husband doing the books, that ended and we moved interstate and I haven’t worked since .

Thanks for reading my story .

[Croix]

Dear EarthlingEarth~

I'm sorry you have not been welcomed to the Forum yet, be assured it is not you or oyur post, but a system that does not work perfectly all the time. I think many here are going to understand how you feel. Life has handed you a great many serious problems, you must have great deal of strenght to have coped for so long.

I would imagine that you may feel there is the ever-present possibility of your huband having another breakdown. The same with your daughter. You youngest having behavioral problems too. Are those problems now a bit better?

Without your mother and brother's support, like not working, has left you very isolated, not good. It is really upsetting when those you would expect to be closest turn out to behave like that. Do you think there is any hope of a reconciliation?

Another worry of course is that when you can work - you may think you have been out of the workforce for too long.

Looking at all this it is hardly surprising it has taken its toll.

I'd like to make a couple of suggestions if you don't mind. The first being to get proper medical help. See your GP in a long consultation and explain the feelings of anxiety and any physical reactions -such as your stomach - and ask what can be done. It may well be you will be diagnosed and offered therapy, and possibly medication too.

Anxiety does respond, and if you try for as stress-free life as possible (no, not easy) with nutrition, regular exercise and the best sleep you can manage then that helps too.

Doing things you personally enjoy each day, even if only for a little while, takes the mind away from the problems of life and gives you something to look forward to when you get up - I read, you will be different of course.

Is there anyone to help give you support in your life, perhaps your husband might at least understand, or some other family member or a different friend?

The other thing is if you feel your skills are eroding might be to volunteer (during school hours I guess). There is a vast range of thngs, ranging from office work to cooking as well as straight dealing with people.

I have found help in a long thread:
Forums / Anxiety / SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY

Plus Beyond Blue has further information here:
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/treatments-for-anxiety/anxiety-management-strategies

I do hope you can find something helpful in the above and continue to talk wiht others here, feeling alone makes everything worse

Croix

[quirkywords]

EarthlingEarth

Welcome to the forum. This is a kind, friendly and supportive place.

am sorry it has taken a while to answer your post, sometimes this happens. Your story is important to us.

I am sorry you have suffered with anxiety since your father died.

Have you ever seen a doctor or spoken to a counsellor about your anxiety, or tried mediation or mindfulness or other techniques to alleviate your anxiety.

I can understand your frustration of feeling trapped in your anxiety.

If you browse through this website you may find articles and threads on anxiety.

Have you ever thought of volunteering in a area that interests you, maybe in aged acre, or a charity shop , or any place that will give you experience and skills.?

When my children were young I volunteered in the library at their school and gained confidence . I was also asked after some time to do some casual work in the special needs unit which lead to a part time job.

I also wonder did you get any grief counselling after your father died, because sometimes talking to someone who specialises in grief counselling will help.

Thanks again for sharing story. You are not alone as many people reading this will relate to your post. Also there is support here for you.

Feel free to post here as much as you like.

Quirky

[Brisneyland]

Hi EarthlingEarth,

Sorry to hear about your situation. Try your best to keep busy as you mentioned you are currently out of work - having so much time to yourself can be overwhelming without having tasks to do. If you can find part time work or some kind of daily activity to keep your mind on something other than your problems could help. Also exercise is great to deal with depression/anxiety, even daily walks can break up your day and add something to your routine.

Hope things improve for you 🙂